


Empathy Goes

by Infinity_Pain



Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Cuddling & Snuggling, Empathy, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Grimon - Freeform, Happy Ending, Hugs, Kissing, Love Confessions, Mallrats, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26345404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinity_Pain/pseuds/Infinity_Pain
Summary: The reason that Grace is able to change and Simon isn't is one simple concept, empathy. So what happens in a universe where Simon has empathy? A lot less tears that's for sure. Grace/Simon fluff, found family, and kissing abound to mend your heart after book three.I try to update every week but no promises.
Relationships: Simon Laurent & Grace Monroe, Simon Laurent/Grace Monroe
Comments: 76
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Grace and Simon loved each other. Not in the familial or platonic sense, not even the romantic sense. But something deeper, an understanding, a complete and utter knowledge of each other, that kind of love. Grace knew today was going to be a great day, because today she would lead the Apex in a raid alongside the person who mattered most to her, just like she did everyday. An energy tingled in the air as the followers of the Apex prepared for their raid. Weapons being maintained hair being cut and general controlled mayhem abound in the minutes before they would be able to raid. Simon spent his few minutes before the raid completing a diagram he was working on. His models and figures calmed him and gave him reprieve from the wild world of the Apex. The two leaders separately suited up preparing for the best part of their job as Apex leaders, taking what was rightfully theirs from a car full of Nulls. The two converged at the top of the escalators, descending into an adoring crowd of followers who worshiped their every move.   
Grace gave a small smile and put a hand on Simon’s shoulder to which he responded with a smile in return. The two didn’t even have to speak to each other to have an understanding. The Apex descended upon the car, the children desperate to attack any Null in their path in the pursuit of treasure. 

“Take what you want Apex! Highest number gets the pick of the raid!” Grace announced. This turned the children’s already violent raid into an all out frenzy, each excited to gather what they wanted from their newly claimed car. Simon grappled up to the stage lights which looked at him with about as much fright as a stage light could manage. Normally him and Grace choose not to deal with Nulls so directly unless necessary but this one's singing had particularly pissed him off. He swung the bat smashing the glass sending shards everywhere. Graces smiled and spun as the embers of the fire danced down around her. Simon could have watched her like that all day, free and happy and home. His love of watching Grace do anything was only surpassed by his love of gloating. 

“You see that Grace,” he called “I’m already up fourteen!” Never one to be out done Grace casually responded 

“That’s not bad.” Internally she laughed, she knew Simon wouldn’t be able to resist the bait. 

“Not bad? You think you can beat it?” Simon responded with joking indignation. Really there was nothing either of them could say to hurt the other, but their back and forth came naturally to them. 

“Already have, Socks and Sandals.” Grace said her killing strike using her old nickname for Simon to solidify their teasing. She tore into a Null as if to punctuate her point. 

“Aww come on, give me a new nickname. I was ten and my mom thought they were practical.” Simon said faking hurt over Grace’s comment. 

“Ha! Never trust an adult! Had she ever heard of shoes?” Grace responded. Truly her and Simon were almost adults both being seventeen. But really they’d never be adults, as long as they lead the Apex, and had each other, they’d never need to become adults. 

“Why no! What are these shoo-es you speak of?” Simon approached her as the reporte went on. He gave a smug smile, really just pleased to get closer to Grace. She was so pretty, always had been. The two were halted by the sound of a number changing. Looking down the two watched Grace's number rise. 

“Wow, nice combo. Guess you win again, Knee Pads.” Simon quipped 

“Ahh! Ooh! Ow!” Grace imitated a pained noise before quipping back “You’re just jealous I know how to make practical look good.” As the two watched the stage become engulfed in flames 

Simon asked “Time to go?” 

“Time to go.” Grace affirmed as the two prepared for the exit of the car. Simon went to go check the exit door becoming exasperated at its refusal to budge. 

“Ugh another dumb puzzle?” He asked 

“Barely.” Grace responded as she, Simon and the other Apex joined hands and took a bow on the flaming stage before exiting the car. As they left Simon and Grace wrapped their arms around each other practically out of habit at this point. They enjoyed being close to each other and went out of their way to do so. Grace and Simon stood waiting as the children presented their gifts.   
Grace made an effort to encourage each child. She told herself it was to instill loyalty, but in reality she just enjoyed making the children smile. Simon enjoyed this too though he was significantly worse at it, often coming off as more intense than he meant. He instead elected to stay mostly silent as Grace did this job. This was of course until the last child, Lucy unveiled her gift. One of the singing light fixtures. Grace tuned out its pleas for its life instead responding to its presences with 

“Lucy hold that Null.” Using it as a reflective surface Grace surveyed her appearance. “Nah too much.” She decided “One if these days I’ll make crushed velvet work for me.” she said tossing the cape one of the children had given her in a pile. “Wheel it or whatever.” she ordered not caring much for the Null one way or the other 

“So I can keep the light person!” Lucy excitedly stated this gave Simon and Grace pause and Grace proceeded with the reminder they give to all Apex. 

“Aww that’s cute, Lucy thinks it’s a person.” She mocked “Simon, do you see a person?” She said giving Simon his opening 

“Nope, I’m sorry Lucy but that thing is just a toy the train made for our amusement.” Simon chastised throwing in a mock apology so as not to too badly hurt the girl. 

“See Lucy it’s nothing, just something to play with until we get bored. And honestly, you're boring me.” Grace added a bit of sharp coldness to the last part of her message. She really didn’t enjoy treating the kids this way but it was the only way to ensure they understood what she knew to be true, that Nulls were nothing. 

“Yes Grace, understood Grace.” Lucy affirmed beginning to run off to wheel the light. Simon, feeling a bit bad for the girl decided to throw her a bone. 

“Wait,” he said “That might actually be useful, good job Lucy. Why don’t you put it in my room.” Grace gave him a look of respect. The fuzzy feeling in his stomach indicated that he might need to complement recruits more often. 

“Yes Simon!” Lucy said enthusiastically. Getting complemented by Grace was one thing but an elusive complement from the reserved Simon was a real treat. Grace continued looking at Simon though the look had shifted from respect to bemusement. 

“What?” He jokingly asked “I’m building a diorama for my soldiers. I need a big light to emulate dawn before the battle of Esmarath.” Simon spoke wistfully. 

“Is that a real battle?” Grace questioned 

“It is in my fantasy novel,” he mumbled “which you promised you’d read!” He said slightly annoyed 

“I’m still on the foreword.” Grace teased 

“You wrote the foreword.” Simon responded humor now illuminating his voice. 

“I know isn’t it great.” Grace couldn’t help but say. She looked down upon her followers and couldn’t help but smile leading them in a chant. “Apex let our spirits be high and our numbers higher.” 

“Down with the false conductor!” Simon added. Grace thrilled her lips. Half because it helped her concentrate and calm down and half because she knew Simon found it cute. She quickly turned to him 

“Let’s raid another car!” She proposed 

“Wow you read me like a book. Not my book which you haven’t read but a book.” Simon teased “Let’s go!” 

“Who wants to raid one more car?” Grace asked the adoring Apex who began chanting 

“One more car!” Simon scanned the car ahead 

“No passengers in the next car should be easy.” Grace continued the chant of 

“One more car.” The two looked at each other with the same understanding as before. They had everything, they had each other. The Apex burst into the car with a bang, the children spitting off to wreak havoc on the peaceful neighborhood. Simon burst into a home snatching a hat and an apron from a Null on the train. He could fairly easily rough them up but he didn’t have in particular interest in this Null electing instead to correct the Null’s usage of the term breaking in. 

“Dude, it’s not really breaking in when your house has no walls.” He explained before running off to find Grace. Grace happily smashed away at phone booths and mailboxes before catching sight of Simon. 

“Looks like someone wants a new nickname, Chef’s Hat.” She poked fun 

“Oh am I wearing one? It’s so subtle I didn’t even notice.” Simon quipped, keeping their reporte going. Grace jokingly flicked the hat off his head crossing her arms to give an air of smugness. He looked back at her sheepishly before the two were accosted by the authorities. Grace mocked their orders before effortlessly kicking one of them in the face. She patiently waited to see Simon’s move both showing off for each other. Simon did a wall run before jumping down, sweeping the leg of a guard and cockily watching his number increase. Grace put an arm on his shoulder and he smirked at her still cocky from his fighting prowess. As the car began to shift Grace made an order 

“Back to the car Apex!” Grace called. The Apex fled but the shifting of the car caused Simon to fly backwards. The gravity shifted once again causing debris to fall on top of him. Grace quickly bound towards Simon. Two had an agreement, they’d always protect each other. Grace quickly removed the derbies from atop Simon helping him from under. 

“I think I bruised my ribs.” He expressed holding his side 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” Grace said slinging his arm around her shoulder doing her best to support him. Looking around for an exit Grace spotted a tapped off exit way. “Alright Simon hang on tight.” Grace said determined 

“Are you sure you can carry us both.” Simon asked, it was one thing for him to get hurt but to lose her was something else entirely. 

“You wanna find out?” Even in the most dire of situations she couldn’t help but tease him. Their back and forth, their love for each other had never been so clear to Simon as in that moment. He gave her a look of admiration, and love. He held on to her waist and Grace pretended that it didn’t make her want to burst into flames of embarrassment. As they attempted to escape a Null stood in their way. They swerved to avoid it in the process snapping the rope. Grace slammed down on the bridge looking over to see Simon slipping off. Grace quickly rushed to his aid saving his life. 

“I owe you one.” Simon stated out of breath 

“Dude you owe me a million. Also a new raid mask, also a harpoon pack.” Grace said

“Yours is broken?” Simon asked

“Ugh beyond broken.” Grace said showing off the mangled remains of the pack 

“We’ll swap it out back at the car, can’t be that far.” Simon says optimistically 

“Ugh what happened cars aren’t supposed to move if there’s people inside.” Grace assessed 

“Well you know who has control over that.” Simon said curtly 

“That horrible little robot.” Grace finished 

“I think the false conductor just made his first move.” Simon positied 

“You think he was attacking us?” Grace asked quizzically 

“I wouldn’t put it past him. Oh good news! They’re here.” Simon said pointing at their map “Bad news we’re here. Forty seven cars away.” Simon said sadly. Though he’d never admit it he worried about the children who looked up to them. Would they be okay with them gone so long?

Grace quickly took notice of Simon’s worsening mood and acted quickly playfully elbowing him and saying “Hey, it’s not all bad it’ll be just like old times. Just me and you.” At the prospect of the two of them being alone together for an extended period of time he couldn’t help but sigh happily “Yeah, old times.” As Grace opened the door to the next car the two looked in awe at a jungle before chuckling and walking in together.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

The pair sat, resting on a large flower. Grace checked her makeup, after all what kind of Apex would she be if her line smeared. She then turned her attention to Simon, who was still in a melancholy state. 

“You okay?” she questioned though she already knew the answer. After all she and Simon had known each other for years, his sadness was her sadness.

“This isn’t going to be a normal procedure,” Simon said clearly mulling over the differences from his written protocol. 

“You’re right.” Grace said though she was perplexed by his thought processes, they’d known they’d be on their own since the turtle car.

“We’re supposed to have backup, we’re supposed to have two working harpoon packs; I don’t think we’ve even been this far out on the train before.” He stated, his neuroses coming to the surface. Grace had seen this before, Simon needed control of everything and when that didn’t happen he tended to fall apart. She needed to quell his fears before they got any worse.

“So what do we have, besides pessimism.” She asked, trying to divert his attention. As if to punctuate her statement she tossed her fanny pack at him. A gesture which caused him to fumble a bit before catching it.

“Good idea, we might have to ration.” Leave it to Simon to find a serious situation in even the most playful of gestures. He dumped the contents of the pack on the ground to survey them.  
“Now let’s see, we have some snack bars, rope and...three toothbrushes?” Simon asked quizzically the number of toothbrushes striking him as odd.

“One of the teeth, two for the sneaks.” Grace comically explained

“I don’t even get one?” Simon asked feigning hurt

“All I know is that I packed three.” Grace responded. In truth they both knew she’d give him a toothbrush. After all if they were going to spend extended time together Grace preferred both of their breath to be acceptable at least.

“A bag of gorp, Arctic Cowboy brand deodorant for summer sports perspiration.” Simon continued listing more items

“That’s good cause I don’t need your ripeness giving away our position.” Grace joked  
“Ha ha ha.” Simon faked laughed before abruptly stopping indicating his lack of amusement with her joke.

“Aww you think i’m joking.” Grace said in response. Simon rolled his eyes before handing her the fanny pack back.

“Okay first impressions,” Simon began sizing up the car. “Looks to be a moderately sized car, jungle themed, but with a little extra…” he trailed off as he turned his attention to watching Grace survey some foliage

“Flare?” She said, finishing Simon’s thought as she often did. To make her point she picked up a mushroom which glowed at her touch squeezing in into dust in her grip. He looked at her with awe. After all, watching Grace do just about anything was his second favorite activity. 

“Hmm?” Simon said, snapped from his trance by a lizard like Null. When touched it glowed and whistled. “Threats seem minimal.” He assessed Grace as slid her arm around his shoulder watching the Null with distintrest but pleased to be near Simon.

“But Simon's presence seems aloof and dorky.” she said arm still on his shoulder as she mocked him. She then proceeded to snatch the Null from his hands and toss behind them. “Dude we are the Apex. But also we’re Grace and Simon remember.” Grace said once again, trying to calm Simon’s nervousness.

“Yeah.” He responded stoically

“Yeah.” She mocked back with feigned stoicism “Yeah what?” She put her arms on his shoulders as she shifted into pep talk mode. “I’ve seen you lead an army of kids but I’ve also seen you play sock ball. You can play a super serious general guy when we get back. Until then loosen up!” she said, shaking him enthusiastically. “Think of it as us being on leave.” A dark blush unceremoniously crept across his face. Maybe he could relax a little if only for her sake. He took a deep breath and couldn’t repress the smile that indicated his true feelings on the matter. The two hopped across rocks, climbed trees, and joked with each other. When the veil of tiredness fell over them they slept in a clearing in the brush, hands touching, their need for each other's warmth exceeding cautiousness. As the two walked across a log a conversation was struck up by Grace. “See, isn’t this a nice change of pace?”

“It’s alright.” Simon responded . Grace turned to look at him

“Just alright?” She chuckled “Please, you may think you’re being stoic and cool but that doesn’t work on me, I know you too well.” Simon took the bait unable to resist a call to banter.

“Oh really?” he questioned

“Um yeah like I know you're a huge dork who’s bad at sock-ball and afraid of spiders and that your first kiss was at twelve and it was with me.” She smiled listing things from their shared history together

“Ugh don’t remind me of that. It was super embarrassing.” Simon said as a blush once again took over his face. Grace had always been exceptionally good at making that happen.

“You’re just mad because I was exceptionally smooth. I was all Simon, have you ever kissed anyone before? And you were all uh no have you? Ha! I’m excellent.” Grace said beaming at the incredibly flustered Simon

“Okay first, why was my voice higher than yours in that story?” Simon asked incredulously

“Cause thats how I remember it.” Grace responded

“Second you were not smooth, I was twelve you could have convinced me to kiss a toad if you said I’d get half a chocolate bar for it.” Simon shot back

“That is not true I am totally smooth!” Grace responded jokingly offended

“Sorry Grace but the truth is you’ve got zero moves.” Simon said making a zero with his hand to prove a point

“Ugh whatever.” Grace muttered “Wait hold on a second you’ve got something in your hair.” she said as she reached to get a leaf from Simon’s hair. Simon’s face felt as though it was on fire, Grace’s face inching closer to his as she picked the leaf from his hair. Grace locked eyes with Simon their lips barely centimeters from each other. Gently she pressed her lips against his. Simon’s eyes closed as he melted against her, warmth and fire and love encompassed him. Grace pulled her lips from Simon's a small smile pulling at her lips as she saw his completely red face. “Told you I’m smooth.” she whispered before bursting into laughter

“Hey that was not fair you totally tricked me!” Simon said still tomato red

“Yeah well all’s fair…” Grace trailed off as their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a piercing roar. The soundwaves ripped across the car blowing the two back and sending Grace nearly off of the edge of a waterfall. She closed her eyes, she knew there was no reason to worry this was confirmed as she felt herself being caught by Simon. He pulled her up and she stated what had just been made clear. “Looks like we’ve got Null problems.” 

“Can’t look for threats down here.” Simon chuckled as he climbed up a tree to gain a higher vantage point. 

“See anything?” Grace asked from the ground.  
“Yeah,” Simon responded sarcastically “The tops of other trees.” He looked around further until noticing a large pressure pulse moving through the trees, indicating the movements of something large within the car. “I think I found something.” Simon called down before noticing the felling of other trees and attempting to hop down from his own. “Clear away! Now!” He yelled as the tree collapsed around him. As he reached the ground he could only stare frozen in fear as the tree began to collapse on top of him before being saved by Grace. The two stared in awe at the giant fallen tree.

“Whatever it is we can’t ignore it.” Grace said seriously

“I know you told me to loosen up but we do have Apex protocol for something like this.” Simon offered

“Okay, what have you got?” She asked

“When encountering a Null that cannot be overwhelmed with force nor avoided in its entirety the Null must be encapasitated.” He said in his best serious general voice

“Hmm now who could have written that one?” Grace jokingly questioned. This got a chuckle out of Simon. 

“You know I don’t like to take credit for things.” He joked back. Grace trilled her lips attempting to concentrate on a solution.

“Let’s trap it.” she decided. The two worked on preparing a trap for the large beast. As they sat together by their campfire Simon posed a question.

“Did we have any marshmallows?” he asked.

“What?” Grace responded clearly humored by the question “This is where you wanna redeem your loss at chubby bunny? Right here?” She laughed through the sentence

“I maintain that I am still the champion. They did not fly out until after I said it. It still counts.” he justified.

“Yeah right. All I’d have to do to beat you would be to offer you a kiss if you lose Tomato Face.” Grace joked

“That better not be my new nickname.” Simon bantered back. The whistling of their trap indicated that it had been sprung and the two went to go investigate. They found that the trap had been smashed to bits, the sharpened wood now lying in fragments on the jungle floor. 

“It’s fine. The trap let us know it’s here. Now we can team up and take it down together.” Even in Simon’s attempts at optimism the neurosis was still clear. They were afraid. This fear was validated as Grace stared into the decimated remains of their trap and failed to notice Simon being snatched from behind. 

“Huh?” She said as she noticed a distinct lack of Simon when looking up “Simon? Simon where are you? Make some noise so I can follow! Simon? Simon!” Her cries grew desperate and frantic as she feared the worst for his safety. And quickly Grace was snatched from behind as well. Grace awoke alongside Simon the two in some bed of grass and leaves. They looked around. Simon’s head hurt badly and the area they were in was unfamiliar. The ground shook and they looked at each other with fear. A childlike voice spoke. 

“As punishment for being sneaky the trespassers are given as food to the mighty Tuba.” A giant ape reached down for the two. Simon and Grace clung to each other wanting to at least be near each other in their perceived last moments. Just as it seemed all hope was lost rather than consume them the giant ape tickled them instead. From behind the giant ape can a young child. “Oh no! Please help! Oh no!” she said imitating the reactions of frightened victims before happily laughing and pointing at the fooled Grace and Simon. “That’s you two! That’s what you two sound like!” she giggled, mocking them.

“I thought you said there weren’t any other passengers for at least forty seven cars?” Grace whispered

“That’s what the number tracker said.” Simon responded

The two approached the laughing girl.

“Oh hi over there.” Grace said wearily

“We’re with the Apex.” Simon said. The little girl looked at them with confusion. Simon looked at Grace for approval to go ahead. Grace almost always handled recruitment. She had a gift with children being able to quickly assess their age and what would best appeal to them in terms of recruitment. Simon was significantly less skilled at that part. But he was trying. And so Grace allowed him to take the lead this time. “Have you heard of us?” he asked. The little girl shook her head. “Well we’re a group of passengers who try to make sure other passengers are getting what they deserve from the train. You see there was a conductor who built the train to give humans a place to do whatever they wanted. But an evil conductor took over and is trying to stop us.” The girl only looked more confused at his explanation and her ape companion looked weary. “Did I jump into lore too fast again?” he asked Grace who nodded. One of these days he’d get better at this. He fell back and allowed Grace to take the lead.

“Sorry about that.” she said. Outwardly an apology for Simon’s confusing explanation but inwardly an apology to Simon that she’d have to take over. “My name’s Grace. Simon is my friend. What’s your friend’s name?” She asked the little girl gesturing towards the ape.

“This is Tuba,” the girl pleasantly stated “She’s kinda shy.” she whispered

“I can get kind of shy too. Hi Tuba.” Grace said, attempting a veneer of friendliness. Tuba looked unimpressed but responded anyway.

“Hello.” she said a bit annoyed 

“What’s your name?” Grace asked the girl

“Hazel.” She said happily 

“That’s a very pretty name Hazel. I’m looking for passengers to help. That’s what me and Simon do.” Grace said putting an arm around Simon in order to indicate their closeness. “Can I talk to Hazel alone? Just for a little bit?” She asked Tuba once again applying a layer of friendliness. 

‘I think I should stay.” Tuba said still distrusting of their methods

“Tuba I’ll be okay I promise.” Hazel assured her guardian. Tuba looked displeased with the arrangement but relented. 

“I will be over here.” Tuba said watching Simon and Grace intently

“Thank you Hazel.” Grace assured “Do you want to see something cool?” Grace pulled down her glove revealing her number. “This is my number, Simon has a number too,” Simon gestured to his own number. “Do you have a number?” She asked 

“I do!” Hazel exclaimed revealing her number “But both of your numbers glow.”

“Simon look at this.” Grace muttered

“That must be why she didn’t scan. The fake conductor must have been trying to hide you from us, he turned off your number.” Simon spoke to Hazel in a more gentle tone this time, mimicking Grace. “We need to get you to the Apex right away.” He said

“What’s a conductor?” Hazel asked

“Well the conductor-” Simon started

“Let’s focus on what really matters, numbers,” Grace said, cutting him off “We all have them, me, you, and Simon. But yours should be glowing like ours do. Hmm how can we fix that? Oh! I know you could come back with us! That way the two of us can teach you all about numbers. Maybe we can even get yours to glow like ours.” Grace pitched

“Cool!” Hazel exclaimed

“Plus you’ll get to meet a bunch of really cool kids.” Grace added. She was good at this, she’d done it a million times before. Grace had always had a way with kids. She knew how to talk to them on their level.

“Whaaat! Wait, am I a kid!” Hazel called out to Tuba. She nodded in response. “Yes!” Hazel said excitedly “I’ll tell Tuba to pack up!” She said running towards the ape. Simon shot a look to Grace who nodded in response.

“Wait Hazel!” Simon called. The little girl turned back to look at him. “You can’t take Tuba with you.” 

“What? Why?” Hazel asked stunned 

“Uh…” Simon unable to think of a good reason looked to Grace

“What Simon is trying to say is that numbers are for passengers. This kind of stuff doesn’t affect Tuba. She probably wants to stay in her jungle car.”

“Don't be daft!” Hazel exclaimed. “I’m not leaving Tuba.” She said definitely crossing her arms. Simon pulled Grace off to the side.

“We can’t bring a Null back with us to the Apex.” He said

“Do you really think we can just grab Hazel and run past that thing?” Tuba continued looking at them intently “Okay here’s what we’ll do, we’ll take them both for the next few cars, we’ll ween Hazel off it, we’ll ditch the Null and get home. Sounds good?” She asked

“That- is actually a really good plan.” Simon admitted

“Hazel,” Grace said, turning to the child “Me and Simon had a talk and of course we want both of you to come with!”

“But you were the one that said-” Hazel began

“That was just a misunderstanding but we’ve fixed it and we’re all going to the Apex together! Isn’t that exciting?” Grace asked. Hazel squealed with delight.

“Tuba! Tuba! We’re going with Grace and Simon! I’m going to see more kids! Pack all of your stuff.” She said happily

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Tuba asked seriously “We were setting up a home here.” 

“It’s the moment I’ve dreamed of my whole life.” Hazel said sadly

“Okay.” Tuba relented. She packed a rock from the car in her satchel. A reminder of home, a reminder of the life her and Hazel were leaving behind. Grace and Simon looked at each other slyly. If it meant the Apex would soon have a new member perhaps this whole detour will have been worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The party of four have found themselves in an underwater car of sorts. The turquoise hue of the car's base paired with the floating bubbles encapsulating decorative non-talking Nulls made for quite the pretty scene. Curious about suspension of the aforementioned bubble Simon absent minded popped it causing the seashell shaped Null inside to swim away. Simon watched this with mild intrigue. Grace giggled at his curiosity.

“Oh gee isn’t this car just fascinating?” She mocked in a put on nerd voice.

“Whatever, I’m just trying to assess any hostile threats. Excuse me for trying to protect us.” He teased back in his own defense. The conversation was interrupted by the two seeing Hazel and Tuba obliviously playing around together. “We’ve got to take out that Null right?” Simon questioned

“Yeah, but it’s big and would put up a serious fight. Besides Hazel might turn against us in the process.” Grace muttered

“It’s always a shame when we find recruits who are attached to Nulls. It’s always harder to get them to see the truth. Though I guess it’s better then them finding out the truth about Nulls the hard way.” Simon responded

“Like you did?” Grace asked, putting a hand calmly on Simon’s shoulder. He looked over at Tuba and Hazel still happily playing. Painful memories filled Simon's mind for a moment. He turned back to Grace calming himself down.

“Yeah, like I did.” he said Grace noticed the look of melancholy on his face at the mention of his past and changed the subject.

“Don't worry about the Null. We have plenty of cars in between here and the Apex. For now let’s take it easy.” she said. Simon smiled at this thought, returning back to their home base new recruit in tow. It was an enjoyable idea.

“We made a new friend.” Hazel said, happily showing off a piece of seaweed she had found “This is Louie, he’s a good sort,” Hazel began “But barking mad.” she finished in a whisper. Simon and Grace stared at the girl for a moment before exchanging a glance. This was an opportunity to teach a lesson about the train.

“What a coincidence,” Grace began “We have a friend named Louie in the Apex.”

“The Apex is the country where you two are from?” Hazel asked confused once more

“The Apex isn’t a place, it's a special secret force of kids.” Simon said with a wink. He was getting a little better at talking to kids thanks to Grace’s guidance.

“Yeah that’s right! In the Apex we fight for our rights as passengers because an evil robot named one-one has taken over the train.” Grace said

“An evil robot?” Hazel asked in awe

“Yep,” Simon responded “Hazel, the real conductor was a man who wore a big black helmet with a red wave on it.” he stretched his arms out for emphasis. He may not have been great with kids but he could tell you the lore of the Apex and make you believe it.

“He had the highest number in the world and even saved my life once. So we wear the red wave on our faces to honor him.” Grace explained “He built the train for humans.”

“But no one knows where the true conductor is and one-one is trying to get rid of all the humans on the train.” Simon added “Every sense he took over kids have been disappearing when their numbers go down.Hazel looked shocked.

“I hate one-one!” she exclaimed. Tuba had a look of deep concern on her face.

“Where do the children go?” she asked. Grace and Simon shared another look. They both knew it was best to keep Tuba on their side, for now. So in a bid to drive home the importance of the Apex Simon said

“That’s the worst part. Nobody knows. And that’s why we try to help kids join the Apex, so that one-one can’t make them disappear.” Simon finished.

“And since I have the highest number, just like the true conductor did I’m the leader. I make sure everyone’s number stays nice and high.” Grace gave Hazel a little wink.

“Tuba you have to let me be in it! Hazel exclaimed before turning her attention “Simon can I be in it?” she pleaded

“Well Hazel I’d love to let you in but since Grace is the leader you’ve got to ask her.” He too gave a little wink

“Grace! Grace, can I be in it!” she begged

“Hmm, well Apex kids are all really special and really brave hmmm.” Grace feigned being deep in thought. She’d pulled this trick a million times and she’d mastered it by now. Just as she’d anticipated Hazel was on the edge of her proverbial seat. “Yeah maybe someday.” Grace said

“Someday…” Hazel echoed in utter awe

As the party of four traveled across the bridge between cars Tuba carrying Hazel in her arms began to sing. “Don’t be a worry baby, no need to hurry baby when you're with me.” Hazel responded in kind

“Just take it easy-peasy my little lemon-squeezy cause you're with me.” she happily sang before hopping from Tuba’s arms

“That’s cute.” Grace said

“Where’d you learn it?” Simon asked

“Tuba used to sing it to her kids. But I added the easy-peasy part.” Hazel explained. Simon saw an opportunity and took it.

“You have kids huh?” Simon asked Tuba “Won’t you need to get back to them soon?” he prodded. Tuba averted her eyes.

“No, I am on my own now.” Tuba said sorrowfully. The pained tone with which Tuba spoke of her past hit Simon in a way he wasn’t expecting. He felt remorse for having caused her to talk about it. A part of him almost wanting to apologize. Of course he wouldn’t, Nulls didn’t really feel anything so any apology would be wasted on her in Simon's mind. And yet that was perhaps the first time he’d felt remorse in years.

“Nuh uh!” Hazel exclaimed, appalled by Tuba’s words “You’re with all of us!”

“Of course.” Tuba said, smiling reminded of her love for Hazel. The group entered into a new car. It’s golden chandelier, ballroom floor, and well dressed guests indicating the car was themed after some fancy party.

“Stop!” the chandelier demanded. Simon and Grace got into fighting stances prepared to battle. “Stop right there,” he spoke “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Simon you get Hazel to higher ground I’ll-” Grace was caught off by the chandelier's continued grievances.

“And what are you wearing? I can present you in such a state, and where are your escorts?” He said pulling at Grace’s shirt sleeve

“We don't need escorts.” Grace said, pulling away from it’s grasp “Where’s the exit?”

“The exit only makes itself seen to those who have entered society. You must make a debut, procedures must be followed! Ugh I’ll take you to the cotillion room to learn the waltz.” The chandelier then proceeded to summon a butler to do just that. Hazel and Tuba obediently followed the butler to the quarters while Grace and Simon stopped to assess the situation.

“What now?” Simon questioned. Grace again trilled her lips in an attempt of focus before presenting her answer.

“We will play along for Hazel’s sake.” Grace said

“Ugh,” Simon feigned annoyance “You know Hazel’s lucky she’s cute because if this were an ugly kid we wouldn’t bother.” He joked. Grace chuckled in response. The butler spoke about the portraits on the wall as he escorted them.

“Former debutantes,” he began “All paired off now of course.” he added

“Ugh that's great that's so good for them.” Grace responded clearly reaching the end of her rope. She could only deal with Nulls for so long before she was annoyed beyond the point of no return.

“Well here we are. All be back to collect you later so remember follow the feet learn the steps no mistakes or you’ll be trapped here forever.” The butler quickly said before locking them behind the door. Simon and Grace looked at each other with utter fear before Grace began to bang loudly on the door.

“Hey you can’t leave us here!” she screamed

“This is why we follow protocol.” Simon muttered to no one in particular. Grace continued banging on the door for a bit before giving up. She deeply sighed before shifting into leader mode.

“Alright the ceiling panel might budge I’ll take lead you-” Grace’s plan of action was quickly interrupted by Hazel.

“Let’s learn the dance!” she suggested. Grace took a moment to compose herself before speaking to the little girl.

“Hazel you are so cute, but here’s the thing about life on the train-” Grace was once again cut off this time by Tuba.

“It is smart to try what we know can work.” Tuba said matter of factly. Grace took a moment to collect herself once more. She was never over-ruled and this Null thinking that she could do it was grating on her nerves.

“Thank you for the input, but-” once more Grace was cut off Hazel having another comment in favor of her plan.

“If we don’t dance we can’t get back to the Apex! And we half to, so I can be in it! I can be special and brave.” Hazel said nervously twisting the edge of her shirt. “I promise.” Grace and Simon were both significantly softened by the display and shared a look before Grace spoke again.

“Okay, we can do both. Simon you go through the vents and find another way out, and I’ll learn the dance.” Grace said

“Wait so let me get this straight, you want me to climb through a dirty air shaft and go on the notoriously dangerous outside of the train, while you stay in this safe room and learn a dance.” Simon sarcastically asked

“Yes.” Grace clearly responded

“Okay.” Simon sighed before climbing up into the ceiling tiles. Grace then turned her attention to Hazel.

“So let’s learn this dance.” she began.

“You follow the feet,” Hazel said “It’s a ballroom dance, some of the feet are backwards.We have to be partners.” she explained. Grace looked down to see that Hazel’s assessment had been correct.

“You’re right, how’d you know that.” Grace asked genuinely curious

“I took to lessons” Hazel responded

“Did you have one of those crazy overbearing dance moms or something?” Grace questioned

“Dance moms?” Hazel repeated confused

“Yeah, puts you in competitions to win trophies, makes you wear super tight ponytails, gives you way too much sugar.” Grace listed

“I don’t know.” Hazel said quietly

“You don’t know?” Grace repeated back to her “Well what about your dad.”

“He was…” Hazel trailed off in frustration “Ugh I don’t know!” she sadly exclaimed before running back to Tuba as she cried. Grace looked to Tuba for answers.

“What does she know?” she asked. Tuba simply shook her head in response. Wanting to calm the sad child Grace began to speak again. “Okay, that’s okay, look I had to take dance lessons too.”

“Yeah?” Hazel inquired

“Yeah, all kinds, tap, hip-hop, ballet.” Grace explained

“Couples do ballroom as a fun bonding activity.” Hazel stated

“Uhh, yeah I guess so, I never did ballroom though. I didn’t go to classes, I had private instruction.” Grace said

“No other kids?” Hazel asked

“Nah, my mom and dad were all about learning from the best, which always just meant I was alone. One year my instructor put me in her group recital but my parents didn’t come and the other girls in the group didn’t know me so they didn’t invite me to get ice cream after.” Grace said sadly. This memory was painful for her, a microcosm of everything she hated about her life before the train. But she wasn’t that person any more, she could never be her. She was a leader, she had the highest number, and she never failed. “But really they were all just jealous because I was way better than them which got so boring. So I quit.” She added. Grace wouldn’t allow things like this from her past to hurt her anymore. Hazel gently took her hand.

“It’s okay, I don’t know any other kids either.” she said sweetly. Grace looked at Hazel with a soften usually reserved for Simon and no one else. Staying in the moment enjoying the pur uncut kindness that Hazel represented. The sweet moment was cut short by Simon, who returned by unceremoniously falling through the ceiling onto the ground.

“Simon!” Grace called as she rushed over to him he gasped in pain for a moment before turning to the group.

“I looked for a way out. Guys there is literally nothing out there. It’s just a black void” Simon said with a look of true fear on his face.

“Okay let me think.” Grace said once again, calculating the plan. Hazel looked at Grace and then Simon who both looked to her and then each other. “Well, It looks like we’re learning the dance.”

“What!” he exclaimed “I fell through a ceiling tile specifically to avoid learning the dance.” he said with as much bravado as he could muster, which was admittedly not much considering he was saying it while lying on the floor in pain.Grace helped him to his feet.

“Hmm, honestly you’re right. I doubt you could keep up with me.”she teased. Simon, never one to forgo a challenge and always one to poke back at Grace responded as she knew he would.

“Is that a challenge?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe,” she said “Are you up to it?” Now it was impossible for Simon to avoid dancing and he knew it. Grace would never let him hear the end of it and Hazel was staring at him with an expectant awe that he was practically physically unable to disappoint.

“Alright, I’ll learn the dance.” he said admitting defeat. Grace took his hand and unable to conceal his obvious blushing he averted his eyes.

“Keep your back straight, and your eyes up Simon! You keep staring at the floor.” Hazel explained

“Sorry Hazel.” Simon muttered as he kept attempting to learn the dance. As the two got the hang of the dance the moves became effortless. Both of them easily followed the others movements never once faltering knowing wordlessly what they other was thinking. Hazel and Tuba halted their practice in order to watch Simon and Grace waltz as they entered into an almost trance-like state. There was no train, there was no Apex, all that existed was their partner the two perfectly in sync.

“Wow!” Hazel said as the pair reached the end of their dance. “You two dance really well together!” The blush on Simon’s face promptly returned and Grace averted her eyes out of embarrassment.

“Oh um..” Simon awkwardly began “We’ve just known each other for a really long time. When that happens you learn to have each other's backs.” Seeing an opportunity to once again sell Hazel on the idea of the Apex Grace added;

“Everyone in the Apex has each other's back, not just us. If you do end up joining the Apex you’ll be like that with everyone.”

“Oh wow!” Hazel said even further excited by the idea of the Apex. At that moment the butler once again entered

“It’s time my lovelies! I’ll take you all to your changing quarters.” he said before shuffling them all to separate rooms. “Once you are done make your way to the steps!” he added. Simon descended upon the stairs first. Having only thrown a suit jacket over his hoodie. Then came Hazel and Tuba, Hazel wearing an over sized sport coat and top hat while Tuba wore a flowery shaw and tea-hat.

“You look adorable Hazel.” Simon said. At this Hazel smiled and squealed before putting on a fake posh British accent.

“You look quite well yourself young Simon.” she said before giggling. Finally Grace appeared having transformed her normal attire into a proper ball gown.

“How do I look?” she asked. Simon desperately wanted to give her a compliment. To tell her she looked like the most gorgeous thing in the world but the words were caught in his throat. Though the fact that his face had gone completely red likely gave Grace a better answer than anything he could have said.

“I present to you as their entry into society, The Mighty Tuba, Hazel Lastnameunknown, Grace Monroe and Simon Luarante.” The chandelier announced “And now the couples will take their first dance together.” The group proceeded to dance just as they’d practiced doing there best to ignore the chatter of the crowd.

“What a handsome couple. Look how well they dance. Such freedom. Isn’t that one a bit young for this.” The crowd spoke in hushed whispers As they completed their dance and were shown the exit they all shed their dancing clothes.

“We did it!” Hazel said happily

“You did it!” Grace corrected “We would have never learned the dance without you. In fact, Simon, do you think she’s ready?” Simon pretended to size Hazel up as if thinking deeply.

“You know what Grace I think she is!” he said after a few seconds of looking

“Well then,” Grace said preparing the lipstick “As the leader of the Apex and with Simon as a witness I now officially declare you a member of the Apex.” Grace announced applying the squiggle.

“Great job Hazel!” Simon said giving her a high five

“Yay! Now do Tuba next.” Hazel exclaimed. Simon and Grace shared a look.

“Well we would but the red wave is for kids only,” Simon began “Are you a kid?” he asked Tuba

Tuba stared intently at the two before answering “No I’m not a kid.”

“See Hazel, Tuba’s not a kid so we can’t.” Grace said as her and Simon walked ahead. Hazel happily jumped and ran around.

“I love being Apex!” she announced. A smile tugged at his lips. Him and Grace tended to keep a distance from the Apex kids feeling that becoming too attached would weaken their leadership. But with no such fears in regards to Hazel he found himself surprised at his fondness for her. He began absent-mindedly humming the tune to the song Tuba and Hazel had sang. Hazel let out a gasp. “Simon, you remembered the song! Do you want me to teach it to you?” Simon was taken aback by the offer, the only times in recent memory when someone had offered him something was under threat of force.

“Um okay,” He said “Go ahead.” Hazel began with the song again a twinkle of happiness, of freedom in her eyes as it happened. He was taken aback by just how small Hazel was. Had he once been this small too? Had Grace? It felt like the two had been fighting for numbers, for strength for so long, that they’d never been that young and free and happy. But they had been, all the Apex kids had. When Hazel completed her song Simon gently patted her forehead. “You’re a really good singer Hazel.” he said

“Thank you!” she laughed “Now you.” and though he didn’t want to sing he did. He’d memorized the words quickly and sang it back to her and was so distracted by that feeling of real true selfless happiness that he didn’t register that the head pat he’d given Hazel was the first bit of affection he’d shown someone outside of Grace in years. Nor did he register his lowering number in response to it.

Grace meanwhile hung back with Tuba. The two said nothing to each other. Tuba didn’t even look at her. But Grace looked at Tuba. And as Simon sang to Hazel the song that Tuba had taught her and worry came over Tuba brow Grace understood. Tuba was afraid, all she had was Hazel and she wanted desperately not to lose her. And Grace felt bad for her. And as their numbers went down there went Grace and Simon, empathizing with Denizens and being affectionate and neither being aware.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The party of four now found themselves within a snowy car. Hazel and Tuba excitedly ran around, playing, utterly engulfed in their own little world of familial bliss. Grace and Simon hung back idly chatting something of no real importance as a simple excuse for thinly veiled flirting. The scene was almost idyllic. That was until Simon shifted gears into soldier mode. “Everyone stay moving, frostbite may not be flashy but it’s just as deadly as lava moles and bottomless pits. We can’t afford to lose anyone to it’s icy grip,” he said as he marched onward “Luckily for us I know an excellent way to keep the circulation going.” and with a sly smile he pelted Grace with a snowball. For a second the air was still between them. Hazel looked at the two nervously in fear of an argument. And then,

“Ha ha ha! Alright Socks and Sandals you’re on!” Grace joked as she began crafting a snowball to throw back. Simon responded to this joking threat with laughter as well and an atmosphere of happiness engulfed the group as a snow war began. 

“You better watch out Hazel!” Simon called making a much smaller snowball to toss at the girl. Hazel did not take this lightly and quickly responded with

“No you watch out!” as she began crafting a projectile as well. Grace and Hazel took shelter behind Tuba who soaked up all of Simon’s snowballs with ease as they giggled and threw their icey projectiles. 

“Hey it’s three against one! How is that fair? You’ve got to let me pick someone to be on my side.” Simon said jokingly, frustrated at the unfair competition. He made a show of surveying each of his competitors to pick to be on his team. Looking at Grace he said, “Well I can’t pick you, my team is for cool people only.” After Grace’s expected reaction of fake hurt he laid eyes on Hazel and said, “Hazel you’re the only one awesome enough to fight with me. I choose you.” The little girl laughed and smiled.

“Yes, I knew I was the coolest!” she said as she sauntered over to Simon’s side. “We’re gonna take you two down!” she exclaimed to their opponents. Grace was quick with a steady barrage of snow balls meanwhile, Tuba began crafting a truly gigantic snowball. 

“Hazel, stay behind me! There’s a big attack coming!” At that moment Simon felt something icy and cold hit his back. He turned to see Hazel with a victorious look on her face. “No, Hazel, not my own teammate! You betrayed me?” Simon said in his most over dramatic voice. Hazel quickly followed suit.

“Yes! That’s the first lesson you should have learned. Never trust a double agent!” She giggled as she ran to the other side “Hazel is the winner!” she said as she climbed onto Tuba’s back. Tuba had a humorous look on her face. 

“Well I spent all this time on making a giant snowball, it feels like a waste not to use it.” Tuba said. Grace laughed happily before giving a suggestion.

“You can still use it on Simon, right Simon?” she laughed

“No you cannot! I call armistice!” Simon responded though it was too late as the huge ball of snow crushed him. As he escaped it he wore a striking look of anger on his face, a piercing fierce glare. Which quickly melted into laughter over the whole thing. The gang all enjoyed a hearty laugh until the snowfall increased. “The snow is coming down faster, what should we do?” he asked

“We’ll have to find shelter somewhere.” Grace responded. The group trudged into the snow as the light flurry increased to a blizzard. As they struggled through the snow Hazel snuggled into Tuba’s arms though it was clear the girl was still cold. Simon and Grace shared a look before Grace began to remove her gloves. “Hazel put these on.” she offered, something which Hazel happily obliged. It was only then as she handed them over that Grace saw something strange. Hanging behind the rest of the group Grace looked at her arm and counted. Her fears were confirmed, she was missing a row. The girl barely had time to consider the implications of this when the group came across a cabin. As they burst through the door into the warmth of the abode Grace hastily took her gloves back. It was only after they’d shaken off the snow that a familiar voice was heard.

“Tsk tsk tsk, the first vacation I’ve taken in 150 years and I have to deal with tourists.” spoke The Cat

“The Cat?” Grace questioned surprised at seeing an old foe

“Ah, Grace I see ruining my business isn’t enough for-” The Cat quickly cut herself off when she became aware of the person standing next to Grace “Simon?” she spoke. Simon glared and turned away from her. If he’d known that this cabin had been the abode of The Cat he’d’ve almost certaintanly chosen to freeze in the snow. The Cat, simply happy to see him again, ignored the coldness with which he turned away from her and simply said “Well, I suppose you can stay for a bit.” Simon was in no mood to take any offer from The Cat. 

“I’m leaving.” He said curtly walking towards the door

“Simon you just got here.” Grace reminded him

“I don’t care, I’m not staying here.” He attempted to open the door only to find a wall of snow blocking his path. He angrily slammed the door, the realization that he was truly trapped with The Cat setting in. 

“Yay! Snow day!” Hazel proclaimed. Simon didn’t have it in him to say something rude and snippy in response. He turned to Grace who was far too focused on the lowered number on her arm and what it meant to notice Simon’s clear discomfort.  
“Grace, I’m leaving.” he said to her again. She took a deep breath.

“Simon the snow is too heavy, if you go out there you will die and we will have to find your frozen body when the storm ends. You have to hunker down with the rest of us.” she said in her best calm voice. This did nothing to help Simon as he responded clearly pained by Grace’s lack of understanding for his situation with a mumbled,

“I’d prefer death to staying here with her.” Grace rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to be rude to Simon but in her own mind she was dealing with something much greater, a lowered number, a loss of identity, of strength. With all of that weighing on her she had little patience for Simon.

“Look, you’re just going to have to deal. I’m going to go look for supplies.” Grace said as she walked off. What was she going to do? If her number was lower it meant she’d gotten weaker, even if she wasn’t sure how it had happened. Her whole identity was the fact that besides the true conductor she had the highest number. That’s why she was deserving of the adoration of the Apex, why she was fit to lead, why she had Simon. If that fact about herself was no longer true than by proxy those other facts were no longer true as well. She wasn’t fit to lead, she didn’t deserve adoration, didn’t deserve...Simon, she could never tell him. She’d fix this on her own before he even knew anything had happened; he could never see her like this. While Grace continued her identity crisis Hazel and Tuba enjoyed playing in the water fountain that was in the cabin and were surprised to find that the water was sentient. 

“Woah, it’s laughing water!” Hazel said in surprise

“Wow it’s a laughing girl.” Randall responded pleasantly. The Cat however was not amused by this interaction reminding Randall of his place.

“Randall,” she said “You were brought here for ambiance, not conversation.” she chastised

“Oh right sorry, not a peep.” Randall responded before sinking back into the fountain. The Cat turned her attention to Hazel and Tuba. 

“You two don’t look like the usual Apex riff-raff.” The Cat noted.

“I’m Hazel, and this is Tuba.” the girl said gesturing. Tuba nodded in response. “She’s a tough customer.” Hazel whispered 

“Clearly,” The Cat responded with amusement. The Cat took a good look at the girl and was shocked by what she saw. “Oh my,” she said “What happened to your number?”

“Grace and Simon said that One-One turned it off. We hate him!” she explained

“One-One?” The Cat mused. Hazel nodded in response. “Let me take a closer look.” The Cat attempted to better view Hazel’s number only to be scooped up by Simon. The look in his eye was one of righteous anger.

“Do not look at her, do not talk to her, do not touch her! I’m not going to let you do to Hazel what you did to me. And if you test me I’ll-” The Cat quickly cut Simon’s attempted threat off.

“You’ll what? Ha! You and your whole little army couldn’t take me down, what do you expect to do on your own?” The Cat escaped Simon’s grasp and hopped down, signifying just how futile anything Simon could attempt to do to her was. She had all of the power and they both knew it. “You walked into my cabin.” The Cat said matter of factly. Simon hated that she was right. Climbing into the snow to freeze to death was looking better by the second. He looked over at Hazel who stared intently at their conversation. No, he’d stay. If he left The Cat might try to manipulate her, this was one battle he couldn’t afford to lose.

“Stay away from her.” He demanded

“Okay Simon.” The Cat responded. Simon walked away deeply troubled by this whole situation. It was all too much. He’d stuck it out this far to avoid an argument with Grace and for Hazel’s sake but he had the feeling that if he stayed any longer he’d do something he’d grow to regret. He sequestered himself off and stared out the window. That way at least he could minimize contact with The Cat and step in if she tried to talk to Hazel again. Hearing footsteps near by Simon turned to see Grace who hadn’t even registered his presence. Still deeply troubled by her lowered number Grace absent-mindedly unpacked a box of supplies. He walked over to her wanting desperately to know when they could leave.

“Did you find anything to get us-” he cut himself off when he realised what Grace was unpacking. “Rations? Ugh how long are we going to be trapped here?” he asked, clearly frustrated.

“I don’t know Simon. I’m preparing for the worst.” Grace responded tiredly. Hazel and Tuba bounded over to look at the supplies Grace had provided. Hazel still seemingly oblivious to the tension dug through cans and tins until she found something interesting.

“This one has a bug with a hat on it!” she giggled ‘That’s how you know it’s the good stuff. Come on Tuba, I’ll be mother.” she concluded as she and Tuba walked away to go distract themselves with some other activity. Simon turned back to Grace, growing more anxious to leave the cabin by the second.

“So you have no idea when we’re leaving?” He asked 

“Simon there is a blizzard out there! I have no idea how long it will last!” she responded, her frustrations with her number bubbling to the surface. Simon was just as frustrated perhaps even more so due to how curt Grace was being. She knew his history with The Cat, she knew how hard this was for him. So why was she acting like he was a burden.

“So you want me to just stay here with her?” Simon aggressively questioned. That was it for Grace. She was losing everything, her sense of identity, her power, Simon. She couldn’t deal with anyone else’s problems right now. She felt like everything that she was had begun crumbling around her. So in a move that she would regret Grace turned from the box of rations and looked at Simon in the eyes.

“Yes, I want you to stay here with her. I want you to stop needing me to make your decisions for you; and I want you to leave me alone.” she said. Simon stared at her stunned. Him and Grace had never fought before. They’d always been able to know what the other was thinking even if nothing was said. But as he looked at her all Simon knew was that Grace was mad at him. And that hurt more than anything. Heartbroken Simon trudged away, off to some other part of the Cabin where no one could see him. He wasn’t at all mad at Grace, rather, he was confused and felt like he might cry if he let himself. So still protective of his pride Simon went into a dark room in the corner of the cabin to do just that. Rather than a dark and empty room like he’d expected Simon was met with a room full of The Cat’s collected treasures. In boxes, on walls, and strewn about randomly were items most would consider junk. His breathing became heavy as it all reminded him too much of their shared past. Surveying the room further he picked up a toy soldier. It’s carving was crude and it’s paint looked faded. He made it; years ago. Feeling disoriented and as if the walls were closing in Simon spun around only to be met face to face with a Ghom. 

“Ah!” he cried as he fell backwards. Instinctively he raised his arm in front of his face and-wait. Simon quickly realized that it was simply a statue of a Ghom, not the real thing. If the thing were real no doubt he would be dead by now and no arm would protect him. But that wasn’t what struck him. Counting his numbers to make sure he was correct his fear was confirmed as he noted that yes, he was missing a row. He left the room, still shaken up about the information he’d just gained. In the common area Hazel and Tuba were making a pot of tea over the fire. Simon walking past heard The Cat speak.

“Flavor is all about timing.” she said with authority.

“Really?” Hazel asked naively

“Too long or too short both can ruin your tea and day.” she added. Simon paused, he’d heard that before, she’d said it to him before. He walked into the common area. 

“I thought I told you to stay away from her!” he yelled

“I was trying to be helpful.” she calmly responded

“No one needs any of your help.” he growled

“Why can’t I talk to her?” Hazel innocently asked. Simon looked at her again. She was small, confused. He doubted that she’d ever seen real conflict in her life. She still had the innocence of someone who hadn’t lost anything yet. There are two versions of you, the person you were before trauma, and the person you become after it. Simon had only gotten to be the first for a very short time. And Hazel was even younger than he was. He wanted to scream and curse, to tell anyone who would hear the awful thing that The Cat had done to him, to make everyone know the truth. But, he couldn’t. That first time, the first time hearing something truly awful you are robbed of something inside of you. When The Cat had abandoned him she’d taken a part of him with her and he hated her for it. He couldn’t do that to Hazel, he wouldn’t be that for her. 

“You can talk to her if you want.” Simon said, not looking The Cat in the eyes. As he turned to walk out of the room he caught a glimpse of Grace nervously staring at the floorboards and sadly said, “Grace, I don’t know what’s up with you but I wish you’d tell me.” and with that he walked out of the room and onto the stairs. Grace was struck by this, Simon had noticed that there was something wrong with her. Of course he’d noticed it, he was Simon, they’d known each other for years. Deep guilt swelled in Grace’s chest as she realized how Simon must have felt. To him she was clearly upset and hiding something and she wouldn’t tell him. Noticing that everyone’s eyes were now on her Grace cautiously walked out of the room to find Simon on the steps. She nervously cleared her throat calling his attention. He looked up at her with a blank expression. Grace cautiously sat next to him.

“Look Simon I-” she started. Simon quickly cut her off.

“Grace please don’t lie to me. I don’t know if I can take that on top of everything else.” Grace wanted to say something but instead remained silent allowing Simon to continue. “Because I mean today has just been awful Grace. I mean I’m trapped in a cabin with my best friend that hates me all of the sudden, and won’t tell me why.” as Simon began talking the words seemed to tumble out at random, every sick, pained feeling he’d had since they arrived poured from his mouth. “And on top of that I’m here with Samantha who left me to die when I was ten would rather pretend that I’m the irrational one for not wanting to see her.” Simon couldn’t stop himself now as tears pooled in his eyes the weight of everything he felt slowly being lifted. “And after you got mad at me I went to go be alone and I saw that my number had gone down and I don’t know why and I don’t know what to do so please Grace, please, don’t lie to me. Not right now.” Simon was full on sobbing at this point, tears spilling down his cheeks as he begged Grace to tell him the truth. Grace took a silent breath and threw her arms around Simon in an embrace. She wasn’t sure why, but that part of her that seemed to always know what Simon was thinking told her he needed it. Simon stayed stiff for a moment, being caught off guard by the hug. Then slowly he wrapped his arms around her in return, the two holding each other in a way they hadn’t since they were children.

“Simon I’m so sorry.” Grace said head still buried against his hoodie. Slowing pulling away from the hug she looked him in the eyes. “Simon, my number went down to. And I didn’t know how to deal with it so I freaked out. I got mad at you and pushed you away because I was worried about you seeing me like this.” Grace removed her glove to show him the lowered number. “I didn’t want you to think less of me but by trying to keep you from finding out I just ended up hurting you.”She tried to ignore the fact that her eyes were watering. “I’m so sorry.” she repeated. Simon looked at her stunned for a second before speaking. 

“Grace I could never think less of you.” he said and truly that was all he meant to say. But perhaps due to the emotionality of the moment still flowing through him he accidentally said out loud what he’d said to himself for years. “I love you.” It took a bit for both of them to register what had been said, neither of them had ever said it to each other before. And yet he just had. Out loud he’d told Grace that he loved her. Internally Simon panicked, surely she’d hate him now. But he figured that if he’d just done that he might as well go all in. Caressing Grace’s face in his hands he brought his lips to hers and kissed her. Grace was caught off guard, she hadn’t at all expected this outcome. At yet she kissed back. The kiss was soft and sweet and warm. The two were so close she could smell him and she was pleased by the cocktail of familiar scents. He smelled like the woodblocks he used to carve soldiers and snow, and shoplifted cologne and like Simon. As the kiss went on Grace felt herself become anxious as she wondered if she was doing it right. This was followed of course by the question of why she was so nervous, she’d kissed Simon before. And yet this felt different. That first time had been a test, two inexperienced kids trying to learn. And the few subsequent times had been jokes, all ending with the pair laughing a venir of platonicness still coating each one. This was not that. This was fireworks and warmth and passion. She wondered if Simon was having the same thoughts. In reality Simon’s thoughts resembled an Apex raid at that point more than anything coherent. That meaning that his mind was in utter chaos. He couldn’t do this! He and Grace were friends, and she was his superior. He was sure this constituted breaking rank. And yet he made no move to stop. Grace’s lips were so soft and warm and she was perfect and he loved her and now he was kissing her. The pair likely would’ve continued on for quite a while longer if not for the sound of small footsteps approaching. The two broke the kiss as Hazel rounded the corner and sat on the steps in front of them.

“Are you two in a fight?” she asked

“What no Hazel, why would you think that?” Grace asked genuinely

“Well because Simon seemed to be really upset about something and you seemed like you were upset about something else and you were so busy being upset about your thing you didn’t notice Simon being upset about his thing.” Hazel answered honestly. Simon and Grace shared a look.

“Wow that was actually really good.” Simon said impressed “But me and Grace…” the two shared a blushing awkward smile. ‘We made up.” Hazel looked happily at the two.

“Okay that’s good!” Hazel happily said “Now can you tell me why you don’t like The Cat?” she asked inquisitively. Simon looked uncomfortable so Grace began to speak.

“Hazel, sometimes there are things that people don't want to talk about and we have to respect-” she found herself being cut off by Simon.

“It’s okay Grace. I’ll tell her.” he turned his attention to the little girl “Hazel, a long time ago when I was little, like you, me and Samantha, The Cat, were really close-”

“Like me and Tuba?” Hazel asked. Grace and Simon shared a look. Even with everything that had happened the two still had to recruit Hazel to the Apex and that involved separating her from Tuba. Grace gave a nod of approval. 

“Yes, like you and Tuba. But one day, when I really needed her, Samantha left me and never came back. I was really afraid, but then Grace saved me, and we started the Apex. We wanted to help kids like you, so that they’d never be alone.” Simon said, providing a slightly more child friendly version for her. It was clear it took effort to share the story with others. Hazel grabbed his hand.

“That sounds really scary. I’m sorry that happened.” she said, true empathy in every word. Hazel shifted her focus to Grace. “That won’t happen to me and Tuba right?” Grace and Simon shared another look. Back in sync once again the two silently agreed that it had to be done.

“Well we don’t think it will, but we don’t know. That’s why it’s good to stay with other passengers, because they won’t leave you.” Grace said. The sadness in Hazel’s eyes made them both want to take it back. 

“Oh okay.” she said. The three entered back into the living room to see Tuba taking the kettle off of the fire. “Oo, oo, pour me a cup!” Hazel said, grabbing a teacup which Tuba filled with tea. 

“I’m all naturally flavored.” said Randal from within the teacup. 

“I got this from the sink. I swear.” Hazel said, confused.

“Is all the water here Randal?” Grace asked annoyed

“While the view here is magnificent it’s been dry for centuries.” The cat responded 

“Wait, the snow!” Simon said, realizing. Grace opened the front door and grabbed a chunk of snow putting it near the fire until Randal appeared.

“It took a lot of effort to import that much Randal.” The Cat explained “You don’t find paradise, you make it.” Tuba silently nodded in agreement. 

“Can you stop the blizzard?” Grace asked

“Blizzard?” Randal questioned “Oh you mean the snowball fight we saw you all having so much fun and wanted to join in.” He explained

“Well we called an,” Grace looked to Simon attempting to remember the word he’d used “Armistice?” Simon nodded in agreement flattered at the use of his word. “So you’ve got to stop it.” 

“Oh that sounds like a great idea,” Randal began “But i’d have to talk to Randal first, and Randal might be mad, Oh and Randal’s a bit of a toss up and…”

“I’ve got an idea.” Simon offered. He brought the tea kettle over and Grace dumped Randal inside.

“Hey no! You can’t boil people!” Hazel said horrified 

“No it’s okay, he’s fine with it.” Simon assured

“He’s right I actually quite enjoy it.” Randal explained.

“Oh okay!” Hazel responded, relieved. As the steam form of Randal rose he spoke to the snow explaining that the war was over. The storm dissipated and the group set out for the next car. As Hazel and Tuba hurried ahead Grace and Simon stood on the porch. Neither of them wanted to consider what the events in the cabin meant for their relationship. Grace spoke first. 

“Simon I-“ She cut her original thought off “I’m really glad we talked about our numbers. If they’re both going down it means that it must be something external causing it. It means whatever it is we can fight it.” It was clear Grace wanted to say something else but she stayed silent. Simon took that as a hint that for all intensive purposes their kiss hadn’t happened.

“Yeah, whatever it is we’ve got this.” he responded. As Grace walked ahead he went to close the cabin door. The Cat sat in the doorway. She looked at him now, with almost apologetic eyes.

“Au revoir, Simon.” she quietly said. He looked at her in silence for a moment.

“Au revoir, Samantha.” he said before shutting the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll can have a little kiss, as a treat.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Our party of four walked in silence across the bridge. There was an awkward tension between Grace and Simon. Simon desperately wanted to talk about their shared kiss; Grace desperately wanted to get back to the Mall Car as quickly as possible for the express purpose of avoiding that conversation. Hazel, either unaware or uninterested in the tension was the first to speak. “My legs are tired!” she complained. 

“Hazel we can’t just stop in the middle of a bridge to take a nap. Can you wait a bit longer?” Simon asked. 

“Nooo, I’m tired now.” Hazel tiredly responded. Grace, Simon, and Tuba looked at each other. Though Grace and Simon were at an incredibly awkward impasse and Tuba was indifferent at best about both of them Hazel is still priority number one for all of them.

“Well, it is naptime.” Tuba calmly mused “She does tend to get like this.” 

“We’re too close to the Apex to stop now but Hazel still needs to rest, so Tuba you can carry Hazel while she naps and we’ll press on.” Grace said. Delegation came fairly easy to her with the Apex and this was no different. Both Simon and Tuba nodded in agreement as Tuba scooped the little girl up in her arms. Grace and Simon looked on as Tuba cradled the girl in a mothery fashion. Simon sported a look of concern on his face.

“Grace we’re pretty close to the Apex, we’ve got to ditch the Null at some point.” He quietly commented. Though Simon didn’t want to admit it a small part of him knew his concerns over Tuba were less about her being a hindrance and more about what seeing the Apex kids take her out would do to Hazel. Though nothing to that effect was said out loud, Grace understood what Simon’s real concerns were; the two were still able to completely understand the other even when no words were spoken.

“Yeah I know, I’m not sure what exactly we can do.” Grace’s brow furrowed in thought as she understood that at this point any method of separating Hazel and Tuba would be a huge risk. She looked over at Simon who watched her with interest. Grace sobered herself. She was a leader and so was Simon, even without a plan they’d be fine. She put an arm on his shoulder “Listen, don’t worry about it. We’re Grace and Simon things will work out fine for us. They always do.” she said. She did her best to put up a front of confidence despite being utterly conflicted as well. Simon could tell that Grace was obviously creating a facade to mask her complete and utter failure to craft a plan. But for his own sake, and for her’s he’d trust her. He gave Grace a small smile before mumbling her words back to her.

“Yeah, they always do.” The group entered into the next car one seemingly themed after colors this time. As soon as they entered they were accosted by possibly the world’s most annoying Null. 

“It’s red-o-clock!” The red clock creature explained staring at them. “Welcome friends and future friends to the color clock. You can call me Roy cause I’m your boy.” he said with a wink. Grace and Simon shared a look. 

“Oh, God.” Simon said. If he was tasked with talking to this Null he had no doubt in his mind it would end with him saying some not so kid-friendly words in front of Hazel. Sensing this Grace took the lead. 

“I’ve got this one.” Grace reassured him. “Wow that sounds really fun Roy! Can you tell us about the exit?” she said in her voice usually reserved only for getting the youngest members of the Apex to take baths. Luckily it worked as well as Grace’s attempts to keep the Apex members clean as Roy responded with,

“Well I can’t tell you, it’s my job to keep the exit a secret.” Roy then awkwardly looked around seemingly desperate to keep his mouth shut before finally saying “You’ll have to use teamwork to solve the puzzle! Oops, I’ve said too much.” Exactly the reaction Grace was hoping for. Grace went to examine the exit seeing a large red lock on the door. 

“Ugh, it’s another key car.” she sighed exasperated. At that moment a clock struck and the car was filled with the sound of a ringing bell. The giant color wheel clock changed from red to orange. The structures in the car too shifted old ones disappearing and new ones in new locations appeared in their stead. All colored orange of course. The sound of the ringing bell woke Hazel who stirred from her nap in Tuba’s arms yawning and stretching. Roy returned making a trumpet sound foreshadowing an announcement. 

“It’s orange-o-clock! Welcome to the color clock, you can call me roy cause-” Tuba exasperatedly cut off the over enthusiastic Roy from repeating his speech a second time.

“You are our boy.” She said sarcastically

“Hmm I guess word gets around fast.” Roy said clearly confused as to how Tuba already knew his speech. “Oh wowie wow wow! A team of four!” he gasped. The group all stayed silent at this comment choosing to neither contradict nor confirm Roy’s assumptions. “You know a wise man once said teamwork begins with two people trusting each other.” He said with a wink to the group’s obvious discomfort. He then happily jumped, bounced and rolled down the stairs leaving the group to their own devices. Grace quickly shifted into her leadership roll once again. 

“Alright it looks like we are going to be dealing with some grade A train garbage to get out of here so let’s split up and make it quick. Alright I’ll take-” Grace paused. Normally in this situation she’d pick Simon. After all they worked perfectly together, a well-oiled machine. But, things had been weird since that moment at the cabin. It had dredged up a lot of feelings that Grace still wasn’t sure how to process and if she and Simon were working together she was sure that things would quickly become awkward. “Hazel, I’ll take Hazel,” Grace said. At this declaration Hazel smiled and jumped up and down. 

“Yay! Tuba, Simon, be nice to each other while I’m gone.” she ordered

“Yes, Hazel.” Simon and Tuba said almost in unison. Simon held back a chuckle at that as Grace and Hazel walked away. Grace and Hazel took the trek up a large yellow pyramid. As Grace helped Hazel up Roy cartwheeled by still making trumpet noises. At this Grace rolled her eyes deeply annoyed at being stuck in a car with that Null. Hazel caught sight of this and asked an innocent question.

“Why don’t you and Simon like Roy?” At this question Grace winced. She’d know that she and Simon would have to explain some of the deeper elements of the Apex to Hazel; she'd just expected that it would come later. And that by that point she’d have been weaned off of Tuba. But Hazel was a curious child and Grace knew that like all children if she didn’t give her an answer she’d just come up with one on her own. Better to rip that bandage off now. She gave Hazel a lift and began.

“Well, because Roy is a Null.” 

“What does that mean?” Hazel asked as the two continued walking.

“Null; it means nothing, not even a zero.” Grace explained. She remembered when she and Simon had coined the term. It was shortly after they’d first arrived at the mall car and began searching through stores. One of the stores inside had been a book store and they’d torn through practically every readable material in the place for entertainment, even the boring stuff. One of those aforementioned boring books had been a law textbook and that’s where they’d seen the term. It was also where Simon had first read the series of fantasy books that made him want to write his own. She silently giggled at the memory of a younger, overexcited Simon rapidly explaining to her the plot and proudly proclaiming that he’d write something even better and she’d be in it. Feeling herself drift once again to thoughts of the implications of what had happened in the cabin Grace turned her attention back to Hazel who was already asking another question.

“Is a Null different from a denizen?” she asked. Grace helped her up once more as she gave her an answer.

“Uh, Null, denizen, they're all the same thing.” Hazel looked with concern at Roy questioning the implications of Grace’s words. 

“What’s so bad about Nulls?” Hazel asked once again. Grace went in for the final blow.

“You can’t trust them. You never know what they’ll do.” She pictured Simon’s abandonment at the hands of The Cat. How scared he was, how alone he was, how alone they both were. 

“Have you ever gotten to know one?” Hazel questioned. Grace sighed exasperated. It usually didn’t take this long for new recruits to understand about Nulls. Why was Hazel making this so complicated? Why did Hazel make her feel so weird about all of this? 

“I don’t need too Hazel I just know, okay?” Grace responded, still feeling odd about this whole thing. Hazel looked borderline distraught at this thought before asking a final question.

“But Tuba is good?” Hazel said quietly. The things Grace had said didn’t really make sense to her. Tuba was good and loved her, how could Tuba be nothing, not even a zero? 

“Well then I guess Tuba is one of the good ones.” Grace conceded, suddenly feeling too sick about the whole conversation to argue with Hazel’s assertion. Hazel smiled at this feeling as though she understood everything a little better. “Now how about some fun?” Grace said sitting at the top of the large yellow slide. Hazel took a seat in her lap and the two whooshed down as the clock struck once again signifying a change in color. This time to green as the world of yellow descended into a green maze. As Simon and Tuba surveyed their new surroundings Roy once again appeared making his trademark trumpet noise. 

“It’s green-o-clock!” he began. Tuba grumbled and walked away as he continued “So excited to meet you all for the first time!” Simon ran past Tuba and began working on scaling a small rock wall, a task that in the hand of any other person would have been fun.Tuba looked at him with curiosity, though not because he was acting as if it was his first day at army boot camp.

“Why didn’t you just take the ramp?” she asked confused

“What are you talking about?” Simon muttered.

“What a strange child.” Tuba mumbled under her breath. As the two continued on Grace and Hazel passed above them on a beam suspended in the air. Though Grace hadn’t noticed Simon he stared at her with a mix of regret and awe on his face. Tuba looked at Simon with amusement and questioned him as the two pressed on. “So what’s the deal with you and Grace? Are you two together or something” she asked as unsubtly as possible. Simon tensed up incredibly embarrassed at being asked about the status of his relationship with Grace so directly.

“Me and Grace are-” Simon cut himself off. He was about to say friends as he always had when someone, usually an older Apex kid who’d just found a romance novel, asked him about it. But was that even true anymore? Generally you don’t profess your undying love to your friends, nor do you kiss them. Him and Grace had always been fairly close hugging and holding each other but that was a very different level. And he knew Grace didn’t feel the same, he’d known it before he’d kissed her. But that had confirmed it. She’d been so awkward around him since it happened and just today she’d paired up with Hazel. Normally he wouldn’t think much of that, no normal person would think much of that. But it was the pause before she’d said it. The pause that indicated she was going to pair herself up with him like she always did, like they always did. And she’d changed her mind because she didn’t want to be around him and God how that had hurt. However in lieu of saying all that Simon settled for, “It’s complicated.” yeah that felt appropriate. And wait a minute why was he telling this to Tuba. “Why do you even care?” he asked annoyed.

“Well for one it’s obvious and for another I was a teenager once too.” Tuba said in her trademark calm voice. “And besides it’s nice to listen to other people’s drama. I was excited to do that for Bugel.” Simon ran up ahead and grabbed the prize at the end of the maze, a key.

“Yes!” He excitedly proclaimed. That was until he took a second look at the key. “Oh wait, the key is green. How are we supposed to get this to fit the red door?” he grumbled. As Simon stewed in his annoyance the clock chimed once again shifting the color this time to purple. As it did the key faded from Simon’s hand and a cage entrapped him and Tuba. The trumpet sound coming from Roy proceeded his stating of the obvious as always. 

“It’s blurple-o-clock!” He announced. Simon frustrated began shaking the bars of the cage that now confined them. Tuba walked forward before giving an order.

“Step aside and cover your ears.” she said. Seeing no other alternative Simon did as he was told and allowed Tuba to work her magic. After a deep breath Tuba let out a piercing roar which shattered the cage into its four walls sending them clanging to the ground. Simon covering his ears and looking around found them now free and looked at Tuba with an unknowing look of admiration that he would have never given to a Null even just a week ago. Roy cartwheeled past them repeating his earlier mantra.

“Look at that! Teamwork begins with two people trusting each other.” he said. Simon and Tuba shared a look of annoyance akin to the one him and Grace had shared earlier. Tuba sighed.

“Roy is at a ten and I need him to be at about a six.” she said gesturing. At this the two shared a laugh unknowingly bonding over Roy’s annoyingness. As their laughter died down Simon reflected on something Tuba had said that he lacked context for.

“Who’s Bugel?” he asked casually. The smile on Tuba’s face faltered a bit as she answered.

“Bugel is- was, my daughter.” she said sadly. There was a look of deep melancholy on her face that affected Simon more than he had expected. There was something real there, something palpable. That something was pain, not the dramatic falling over and screaming kind but the gnawing lifelong type that never quite stopped stinging. The kind that everyone could tell by just a look and that overwhelmed the people who noticed. And Simon likewise was overwhelmed by it, by making someone relive that. And so before he could think about it Simon had already responded with,

“I’m so sorry.” Tuba looked taken aback not because she’d been apologized to but because she just hadn’t taken the kid as the type. She quickly restored a soft smile.

“Oh it’s not your fault.” she said. “Besides, now I have Hazel.” Simon smiled back at this allowing himself to indulge in the sentimentality he normally fiercely rejected. At that moment the clock struck once again the color shifting back to the red it had been when they entered buildings and shapes restoring themselves to the red setting. Grace and Hazel ran towards the exit as Grace called down. 

“The door is back, did you find the key?” she said

“Yes and no, we need to the clock to be green.” he explained

“I went down a big slide and it was fun!” Hazel said happily

‘That’s nice Hazel.” Simon responded before turning around “Come on Tuba-” he began before seeing Tuba walking around corners and sharp turns as if trapped.

“Let it be known, I do not enjoy mazes.” she said as she continued to behave as though she was in one. 

“Maze? But the maze was the green one?” Simon questioned. As Tuba hit her head on a wall it was clear that the maze she was in was a real one though it wasn’t until Simon looked over and saw the ramp that Tuba had mentioned that he realized what was going on. “Tuba, you’re red-green color blind!” He said excitedly. “Those two colors look the same to you!” Tuba simply shrugged unaware of what her colorblindness had to do with this. As the clock ticked on Simon realized their time was wasting. “Tuba you get the key, I’ll help you with the maze.” Tuba nodded back at him in agreement and the two spilt up to go handle their tasks. Simon ran up the bridge where Grace and Hazel stood and shot down his harpoon pack for Tuba to climb up. 

“Got it.” Tuba said as she snagged the key. She then quickly began climbing the ropes, key in hand as the clock ticked down. As Tuba reached the top she extended a hand out and Simon pulled her up. The two smiled at each other before Tuba put the key in the lock opening the door and freeing them from the car. The group cheered. Hazel gave Tuba a hug. Grace out of habit gave Simon a hi-five which he returned. For just a second they were back in sync, back to being Grace and Simon, back to how they were before anything had happened. And then they made eye contact and Grace briskly walked away. 

“Ha ha! Hooray for teamwork, also hi i’m Roy i’m your boy and I don’t believe we’ve met.” The newly fully colored Roy said. The group didn’t even have time to be annoyed before the car started shifting. 

“One-One found us!” Grace yelled to the others as they began to escape from the car. Opening the door Simon and Grace ran forward with Tuba stopping to pick up Hazel. But as she exited the car she saw that it was already too late the bridge had folded up and disappeared. 

“Tuba throw Hazel across!” Simon said Tuba nodded understanding it would be safest.

“No wait!” Hazel said though she didn’t have much time to voice a complaint as the car began to rise in preparation for ejection. 

“We will catch you Hazel I promise!” Grace yelled across the widening chasm trying to calm the girl. Hazel tucked herself into Tuba’s fur and cried in fear. Tuba gently rocked and shushed her, placing the bag with their rock, their reminder of home, on Hazel’s lap. 

“Just take it easy-peasy,” Tuba began, singing their song in hopes of calming the girl.

“My little lemon-” Hazel began before Tuba tossed her across the chasm to Grace and Simon. Grace caught the girl in her arms staggering backward onto the safety of the platform. The girls shared a look of relief before noticing that Tuba was still hanging from the edge of the platform. They gasped as she struggled to hold on. 

“Tuba!” Hazel called out. Simon readied his harpoon pack before looking at Grace.

“Get Hazel to the next car, I’ll go back for Tuba.” As he shot the propellers forward and prepared to launch towards Tuba he heard Grace from behind him. 

“Simon, be careful.” she quietly said. Simon nodded not looking back before shooting towards Tuba. As he launched himself up and reached the platform Simon had a conflicting thought. If he really wanted he could throw Tuba into the wheels here. Yes Grace had said not worry about it and yes Hazel would be hurt but he could. He’d done it a million times before, wheeling Nulls. And yet, he couldn’t. Looking at Tuba he extended a hand out towards her which she took. Tuba had a grateful look on her face. Of course she hadn’t expected the kid to let her die but knowing that he could’ve but didn’t was nice. 

“Thank you, Simon.” Tuba said

“Ah well teamwork and all that.” He said quickly. Why was he so unable to do what had always come naturally? The rumbling of the train reminded him that there were more important things to worry about at the moment. “Hold on!” Simon said as he shot the harpoon pack back towards the other car. However as they traveled between the cars the distance between the cars was two great at this point and they wouldn’t make it with both of them in tow. As Tuba held on she and Simon both began slowing down. Tuba knew that if she continued holding on they’d both fall to the wheels.

“I’m going to let go.” she said in her trademark calm voice. 

“What! No! We’re almost there, we’re gonna make it.” Simon said, determined. He knew it wasn’t true but he couldn’t let himself believe that.

“Simon, we’re both going to get stuck in the middle if I hang on.” she said, voice still as soothing as ever. “I have to let go.”

“But, Hazel needs you.” Simon said quietly. The truth was this all reminded him a bit too much of being left by Samantha for his own comfort. Tuba let out a small laugh and smiled.

“Hazel will be okay. Truth is I needed her much more than she needed me.” Tuba said “Please, tell Hazel how much I love her.” That last part felt more like a plea than a statement. But there was no time to dwell on it. Tuba let go. The harpoon pack shot forward and Simon landed on the platform shutting his eyes tight in fear of catching a glimpse at Tuba’s final moments. Inside the car Grace comforted a worried Hazel. 

“It’s fine they’re gonna be okay.” Grace explained though in all honesty her statement was just as much about comforting herself as it was comforting Hazel. Though she’d never let her see it, Grace was scared. The door opened and in walked a clearly shaken Simon. Hazel’s face filled with worry.

“Where’s Tuba? Where is she?” she asked clearly scared. Simon took a deep breath, he’d barely processed what just happened himself, how could he expect someone as young as Hazel to do it.

“Hazel, me and Tuba were crossing over we’re the bridge was using my harpoon pack. But with both of us using it, we couldn’t reach the ledge. Tuba realized this and she made the very brave decision to let me make it back. But it meant that she couldn’t come back with me. I’m so sorry.” Simon cringed at his own explanation, even though it was all true he still felt as though he was lying. Hazel began to cry and fell to the ground clinging onto the two Apex leaders. However as Grace leaned down to comfort the distressed Hazel she and Simon were taken aback as Hazel’s hands became claws, her skin became scales and her back became a shell. Silently they watched as Hazel became someone, something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moral of this chapter is, Tuba is too good for this sinful world.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Grace and Simon looked on in shock and confusion as Hazel’s form morphed from that of a little girl to a humanoid turtle. Still hunched over and sobbing, clinging to the clothes of the two Apex leaders it wasn’t until she looked down that she recognized a change. Still sobbing Hazel frantically spoke. “What’s going on? What’s on me?” she desperately pulled at the shell on her back in a feeble attempt to remove it. “It’s stuck on me! It’s my skin! Why is it my skin?” she frantically cried as her claw-like hands scratched at her scaly skin. Simon and Grace could only watch in terror as Hazel’s cheeks became wet with tears of sadness and fear and she crumpled beneath them. Grace was the first to speak Hazel’s clear distress obviously needing to be quelled.

“Calm down Hazel.” she said as calmly as she could muster. Unfortunately it wasn’t very convincing as Hazel continued to cry looking at the two with a pleading look in her eyes.

“I want Tuba.” Hazel tearfully begged. Simon froze for a second at hearing Hazel’s request before opening his mouth.

“She’s gone Hazel.” he said softly. This didn’t calm Hazel but it didn’t seem to upset her further so Grace and Simon counted it as a blessing. Hazel was still crying however and began begging once again.

“Let’s go get her!” she cried. Hazel’s eyes screamed of pain and Grace silently cursed every decision that had led her to this point. She internally took a deep breath and talked to Hazel again.

“She’s not just gone Hazel, she’s dead.” The words felt like sandpaper in her mouth and the panicked look in Hazel’s eyes did little to calm any of them.

“What if I’m really, really, good? I won’t do anything bad ever again I promise!” she looked at them desperately. “Please you two. Please.” all of them knew that Hazel’s plea was one of desperation including her. Nothing was going to bring Tuba back no matter how desperately each of them wanted it if only to end this incredibly painful situation. Simon was the one to speak now, paradoxically the most and least qualified person to talk to her.

“Hazel, this isn’t your fault. It has nothing to do with if you're good or bad.” he said in his most soothing voice. At this Hazel wrapped her arms around the legs of two Apex leaders in an approximation of a group hug. Both initially caught off guard the two bent down to Hazel’s level in order to return the hug both attempting to soothe her. Grace gently rubbed her back (shell?) and Simon silently patted her head like he’d done on the bridge. This finally calmed Hazel down and her turtle form melted away as her shell returned to being her back, her claws returned to being hands, and her scales returned to being skin. When this transformation completed Grace wiped a tear from Hazel’s eye before Hazel spoke again.

“Do you two hate me?” she asked quietly. Grace frantically shook her head.

“No Hazel we could never hate you.” Grace said, holding Hazel’s hand for emphasis.

“But I’m a train person, you two hate train people.” she said sadly. In all honesty it had been a thought on her mind since the color car and the fear that encompassed her once she’d seen her new form had only come second to her grief. Simon however had a response prepared.

“Hazel, you're not a train person,” he said in a sweet but matter of fact voice. Hazel looked at him with surprise while Grace looked on in confusion. Simon gave a small nod to Grace indicating that he had this under control and looked back to Hazel once more who was already prepped with a question.

“I’m not?” she asked 

“No, of course not, look,” he said holding Hazel’s tiny numbered hand in his own. “You have a number, and train people don’t have numbers, so you’re not a train person. Even if you look like one sometimes. So it’s all okay.” Grace gave Simon a relieved smile quickly latching on to his train of thought and silently applauding his mental gymnastics. They both knew internally that Simon was doing quite a bit of circular thinking but it was preferable to deconstructing all of their long held beliefs. Hazel looked relieved at the prospect if not a bit unconvinced. She turned to Grace.

“Grace is that true? Am I not a train person?” she asked. All things considered it sounded more like she was asking permission to believe Simon’s words than anything. It was permission Grace was happy to grant.

“Simon is right, train people don’t have numbers. And you have one, so you're not a train person.” For a second a wave of relief washed over all of them as the feeling that everything might just be okay was believed by all of them if only for just a second. Then Hazel’s smile faltered as she looked back at the two of them. 

“Did you hate Tuba?” The question was posed in general to both of them but most obviously to Simon as he was the last one to see Tuba alive. Simon and Grace both shook their heads though Simon was the one who gave a verbal response. 

“I didn’t hate Tuba.” he said gently reassuring Hazel that Tuba’s death had been in no way an attack. This seemed to calm her a little bit. Seeing how quickly Hazel could switch forms and deducing that the way to get her to return to looking human was through keeping her calm Simon looked at Grace silently asking permission to address the issue directly to which she responded with a nod. Simon began to speak again, “Hazel, since we don’t know what’s causing the change, it’s important that you try to stay calm and avoid transforming.” Hazel looked slightly confused and nervous so Simon backpedalled a bit. “It’s just because we don’t understand how it works, we don’t want you to end up getting stuck, okay?” Hazel looked at her number for a moment before nodding. All of them let out a breath they didn’t know they’d been holding. Everyone having calmed down they finally took a moment to survey the car they were in. It was forest themed, being covered in trees and campgrounds. Hazel attempted to lift the bag holding the rock Tuba had taken from their old home. Seeing her struggle Grace offered to help. 

“I’ll carry it for you Hazel.” Grace offered. Hazel handed her the bag and allowed Grace to sling it over her shoulder. The three pressed on through the car into nightfall. As they passed by a pair of Denizens, a mother and her child, a deep feeling of sadness set in for Hazel. As the party walked towards the door Hazel still thinking of the mother and child stopped. As Grace and Simon looked back at her she spoke.

“I have to do something before we leave.” she said melancholically. Simon and Grace shared a partially tired partially amused look before Grace spoke.

“Hazel if you have to go to the bathroom again I’ll take you but that means no more water for tonight.” Grace said only semi-joking. Hazel almost cracked a smile before shaking her head. 

“I want to have a funeral for Tuba.” Hazel said quietly. Grace and Simon shared another look though this one was far more serious. 

“Are you sure Hazel,” Simon said quietly “Funerals can be kind of…” he trailed off. In truth Simon had only ever been to one funeral in his life and it had been before he’d gotten on the train. It had been when his grandmother had passed away and he’d hated it quite a bit. All he could remember was people telling him that the funeral would give him closure and make him feel better. In reality it had only served to make him feel worse. Seeing her in the casket looking like she was sleeping had made him cry far more than the news of her death had. He silently shook his head. Simon’s discomfort with the idea was difficult to voice but Grace had a more logical issue with it.

“Hazel, Tuba isn’t...with us, so it would be kind of hard to have a funeral.” Grace had gone to many funerals in her life and she’d hated all of them. None of them had ever been people she knew but rather politicians and bosses of her parents which they’d attended only for career gain and she’d been forced to attend to give off the appearance of a full family in mourning. Despite her parents bringing her to make them look like a whole unit that never stopped them from having her seated three rows back with whichever one of her nannies was employed at the time. Grace mentally sighed and turned to see a distressed Hazel. Both she and Simon shared a look and began attempting to comfort her to prevent a transformation. Once Hazel had calmed down she spoke to them again. 

“I think it would be good for me to go to a funeral.” Hazel said softly. Simon and Grace shared a look. Despite both of them having their hang ups about funerals this wasn’t about either of them and they both knew it. “It’s good to say goodbye.” she added almost in a whisper. Simon took a breath before he turned to whisper to Grace. 

“We have to do this right?” The question was phrased more like a request for permission to do what he’d already made his mind up on then a genuine question of opinion but Grace already agreed so it didn’t matter much.

“Of course we have to do this, I mean we can’t throw in in with the Apex kids if she’s still mourning.” Grace answered, though it was phrased more like a justification than a serious answer.

“Right.” Simon said

“Right.” Grace responded. The two broke their little huddle and turned back to Hazel. Grace was the one to speak to her. “All right, let’s have a funeral.” she said. At this Hazel perked up a bit though she still didn’t smile. 

“So are we gonna just say a few words or…?” Simon asked. It had been a long time since that funeral he’d been to and it wasn’t like they had Tuba’s body. Hazel shook her head at this and laid out her plan.

“I want to find a spot Tuba would like.” Hazel said before tapping Grace and pointing to Tuba’s bag slung across her chest. Opening the bag Grace handed the rock inside to Hazel. “This can represent Tuba,” Hazel began “Because it’s the thing that we took with us from our old home.” she finished holding the rock which glowed in her arms. She put the rock back in the bag and the three trekked back into the forest from whence they had come to find a spot for Tuba’s funeral. After trekking into the middle of a grove of trees Hazel stopped and looked around.

“Here?” Grace asked. Hazel surveyed the area for a bit before shaking her head.

“No.” she responded. A Denizen resembling a humanoid lamp walked passed the group and clearly not reading the room when seeing two quiet, melancholic looking teenagers and a very sad little girl made a joke.

“Bright out tonight, huh?” he said “Or is it just me?” he delivered the punchline before laughing at his own joke. Simon sighed at the cringe worthy pun and the three continued into the woods still looking for a perfect spot for Tuba’s final resting place. As the three came to another clearing this time with a few rock formations around Hazel stopped once again.

“Here?” Simon asked. Hazel surveyed the rock piles examining each rock with a furrowed brow. Behind her two rock-like Denizens had an argument.

“If you didn’t want to come here you should have said so.” one yelled

“Oh so you wouldn’t have just complained about whatever choice i made.” the other shot back. Hazel, clearly put off by the argueing rocks, made her decision.

“No.” she responded, walking deeper into the forest. Defeated the two Apex leaders followed behind her. The group passed by what was seemingly some sort of scout camp for pine cones. The troop leader told the gathered pinecones a scary story about a hungry squirrel as they all sat around the fire. As the leader jumped at them the scouts squealed in fright and the group passed through.

“Here?” Grace asked out of desperation.

“No.” Hazel responded, not even bothering to stop to observe the spot. The group trudged on through a well worn trail,

“Here?” Simon asked practically begging. His feet hurt, they’d lost all of their progress, and the longer the search went on the more Simon began to dread the idea of attending the funeral, memories of the one he’d attended becoming more and more clear. Hazel stopped to consider the spot for a moment before giving her answer.

“Hmm... no.” she said plainly continuing forward. Simon sighed defeated and Grace put an arm around him in response, the two silently commiserating their fate of trudging through this forest forever. Hazel spoke again quickly noticing her companions tiring of the journey. “I’m sorry this is taking so long.” Hazel said guilty. “I just want things to be perfect for her.” she amended 

“No, Hazel it’s fine. We’re just a little tired.” Grace said, attempting to keep Hazel from feeling guilty for mourning.

“Yeah, take as long as you need.” Simon added helpfully. Though he didn’t want to admit it, he did feel his own guilt about being the last person who had seen Tuba, and for failing her. He wouldn’t fail Hazel, neither of them would. Even if it meant they had to walk around in circles in this car for the rest of their lives. The three walked forward through the grove and were surprised when Hazel squealed.

“There! That's the place.” she said. Grace and Simon looked around not seeing anything of interest.

“Um, where?” Grace questioned

“Up there!” Hazel said pointing to a high branch of a tree. Grace and Simon looked at each other and sighed.

“Okay Hazel I’ll carry-” Simon began before turning to see that Hazel had already made it to the top of the tree. “Wow.” Simon said as he and Grace looked up at her.

“Well you can always carry me.” Grace said jokingly. Simon rolled his eyes and laughed.

“Fat chance.” he said, turning on his anti-gravity boots and easily climbing up to where Hazel sat leaving Grace to climb up on her own. As she reached the top Grace removed the rock from the bag and handed it to Hazel. Once the three were seated on the branch of the tree Hazel spoke.

“This is the place.” she said solemnly “Tuba should be high up where she can see the sky.” as they sat the sun rose over the tops of the trees. Grace and Simon, seated on opposite sides of Hazel looked at her as she spoke. “Here she can be protected from rain, and animals, and yelling rocks.” Hazel said clinging to the representation of Tuba as it glowed in her arms. Hazel looked down at it before beginning her speech. “Tuba was nice to me and took care of me and gave me good hugs.” she started “She made me feel like I was warm all the time, but not that warm on the outside that makes you all sweaty, the warm that’s inside and comfy.” Hazel looked over the branches to view the horizon ahead of her. “Oh, and thank you to Tuba’s kids for letting me have her because they were gone and I needed her and maybe now that she’s gone she can be with them again since she’s not with me.” Hazel gazed sadly at the rock before looking and Grace and then Simon. “Now both of you have to say something.” Hazel said. 

“Oh uh Hazel I don’t think that’s a great idea.” Simon said

“Yeah, I don’t think we should.” Grace added

“Please, funerals have people talk at them.” Hazel said to the pair. Grace looked at Simon and took a deep breath.

“Okay, I’ll start.” she conceded. Grace trilled her lips searching for something to say. “I didn't know Tuba that well but she was very important to Hazel.” Grace offered. Hazel looked at her disapprovingly. Grace tried again. “Tuba was nice to me. She was quiet but in a good way. She was really good at making snowballs and she helped us and was really brave and-” Grace found herself unable to finish as tears formed in her eyes and she tensed up. Hazel took her hand and nodded. She then turned her attention to Simon.

“You have to talk now.” Hazel reminded him. Simon had been caught off guard by Grace’s tears and had almost forgotten he’d have to speak.

“Right, right. Umm..sometimes the people you care about leave you and you don’t know why and they just do.” Simon began. Hazel looked at him nervously wondering where he was going with this. “Tuba… wasn’t one of those people. She stayed by Hazel’s side even when it would have been easier not to. She was always trying to protect other people, even people she didn’t know that well. She...she saved me. And she loved Hazel so much that it was the last thing she said to me, she said tell Hazel how much I love her and..,I forgot.” Simon said realizing that between everything that had happened he hadn’t actually told the girl. “Hazel I’m so sorry I forgot but Tuba loved you so much and she didn’t want to leave you and-” heavy tears ran down Simon’s face as he too began to cry. Hazel took his hand with her free one.

“It’s okay. You both said really nice things.” Hazel reassured them. “Now I’m going to sing the lullaby that Tuba made up for her kids and said it was for me too.” she turned to Simon “Since you know Tuba’s part can you sing it with me?” Simon wiped a stray tear from his face as he sang Tuba’s part of the song just as Hazel had taught it to him. As her part began tears ran down Hazel’s face and she shut her eyes tight as if doing so might let her see Tuba one last time. The sun peeked over the tops of the trees as she concluded. “Thank you for being with me Tuba, I’m going to keep loving you like you're still here.” Hazel said, giving the rock a kiss. As she looked over at both of her caretakers she saw that both had devolved into crying. As they wiped their tears Hazel carried the rock into a hole in the tree placing it safely inside watching the glow fade as she removed her hands. As Simon and Grace finished composing themselves Hazel spoke once again. “Grace,”

“Yeah?” Grace responded 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Hazel said, still deadly serious. And at this, despite everything that had happened, despite all the tears they shed, Simon and Grace laughed. As the sun rose and the birds chirped and they climbed down from the tree they laughed because maybe, they would make it. After Grace took Hazel to the bathroom the three stood once again in front of the exit. 

“Do you feel better now Hazel?” Simon asked genuinely. Hazel nodded in response.

“Yes I do. Do you two feel better now?” Hazel asked just as sincerely. Grace and Simon looked at each other and then back to Hazel. How long had it been since either of them had cried? Since raw genuine sadness had been expressed and they’d been allowed to simply be sad with no judgement or expectations.

“Yes.” they both responded and they meant it. As they heard the tell-tale sound of a number changing and the accompanying glow they both kept their eyes up refusing to look at which way their numbers had gone though they both knew the answer was down. But as they each took one of Hazel’s hands in their own, opened the door, and began walking across the bridge to the next car, they almost didn’t care. As they crossed the bridge they were passed by another passenger wearing a strange grey jumpsuit. Grace and Simon ignored her as they did all adult passengers but Hazel looked at her with fascination. As they entered the next car where the map had predicted the Apex the group were surprised to find nothing.

“Huh, no sign of them.” Simon muttered as they all looked around the barren looking car. “They’re probably farther in. I hope they’re okay.” Simon quietly noted before hearing a beeping noise emitting from the map. He and Grace looked down at the map to notice that what they’d assumed was the Apex was now in fact a car behind them. “What? But it said they were in here? It’s not like we could have passed them.” Simon said, clearly confused. Behind them they heard doors open and turned to see the women that they’d passed earlier on the bridge.

“What have you kids been doing to the train cars?” she asked confused and annoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally think Grace was able to accept Hazel being a Denizen so fast because she was in very immediate danger, so when that element is removed and Simon is added I think it's a given that there will be some mental gymnastics.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

The group of three stood staring at the jumpsuited woman who’d accused them. Simon confusedly asked her a question. “What are you talking about?” the woman responded in kind.

“The train car's genius. I scanned this car for abnormalities and found nothing. You three are here for all of one minute and I get an alert that there are lines of code that don’t match the reality of the car.” she said tapping on her wristwatch seemingly trying to pinpoint the anomaly. Simon spoke again.

“Listen, we barely escaped the ejection of the train cars, we have just as little information as you do.” he offered. This woman was strange and her being so quick with an accusation did nothing to endear her to the group.

“The ejection-” she shook her head in frustration putting her fingers on her temples “There is a glitch on the train. One sent me from the engine to resolve it.” Now that was a clue. Grace and Simon shared a quick look. Grace turned back to the woman, her accusation prepared.

“One? One-One sent you?” she questioned bluntly. Hazel, desperate to keep up with the numbers, began counting on her fingers.

“One, one, one?” she counted. 

“That’s three Hazel.” Simon offered turning to the little girl.

“Thank you.” she responded. Simon now turned back to the woman. One-One had been trying to eject them this entire trip and they’d all almost died, Tuba had died. Now this woman who worked for One-One had the gaul to accuse them of something. Simon scoffed.

“You work for One-One?” He confirmed. The woman nodded. “He’s been trying to kill us since he took over from the real conductor.” Simon explained. The woman’s brow wrinkled in amusement. These children were absolutely ridiculous.

“He’s been-” the woman stopped to let out a hearty laugh at their expense. “One-One has no idea you exist, ponytail.” she said matter of factly. “At least not anymore than any other passenger. In a very literal sense we are just numbers to him.” she explained. Simon and Grace shared a look of confusion and distrust. That wasn’t true, it couldn’t be. The Apex was One-One’s greatest enemy, the only threat to his false way of life on the train. There was no way he hadn’t heard of them, right? Noticing their disbelief in her words the woman sighed and spoke again. “Ugh, hang on.” she said as she took a card from her bag and began reading what was written on it. “Every passenger is important. Their well-being and progress is what the train is all about. All aboard the growth train toot toot weee. Sincerely your conductor One-One.” she said in her most wooden voice. Clearly annoyed at having to have read that the woman crossed her arms. Hazel let out a giggle. 

“You’re really weird.” she said still holding on to Grace and Simon. The woman rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I am. Good heavens,” she said putting her head in her hand out of frustration. “You three really have no idea what’s been happening. Ugh, this is so tedious,” she said, the annoyance and frustration in her voice quite clear. Grace and Simon again shared a look. Of course they had no idea what was happening, that's what they’d already told her. The woman took off her backpack and began rummaging through it as she continued her speech. “Some of the cars on the train have corrupted code, I created a pulse that scans for that code, and it was working fine until three weeks ago when cars started ejecting one after the other.” she continued as she unzipped the top of her jumpsuit and let her hair down. “And you say you keep getting ejected along with them so you’re the only lead I have as to what’s gone wrong so start talking.” The woman turned around and held a computerized device in her hand. With the top of her jumpsuit unzipped the group could see the woman’s arms and neck in their entirety. From the palm of her left hand almost to the palm of her right the woman was entirely covered in numbers. Grace and Simon stared at her in awe. Simon was the first to speak up. 

“Y-Your the numbers we’ve been tracking.” he said, utterly taken aback. It had been Grace who’d seen the true conductor, not him, so this was the highest number he’d ever seen. And by quite a large margin as well. The woman ignored the group's obvious shock at her number and instead honed in on what Simon had said.

“You’ve been tracking me!” she said indigent. They ignored her annoyance and focused instead on the revelation they just had.

“It wasn’t reading a cluster of Apex kids.” Simon said to Grace still clearly in shock. 

“It was just one really high number.” Grace said in awe. Hazel looked at her guardians with confusion, having no idea what they were talking about.

“It’s definitely the highest we’ve ever seen, it might be the highest there has ever been.” Simon continued. 

“Rude.” the woman said clearly unfazed by their utter confusion at the sheer size of her number. Simon looked at his own arm and cringed. Just as he’d assumed it had gone down since he last checked. He turned to look at Grace who’s number had done the same.

“We are supposed to have the highest numbers of anyone on the train but ours have been going down.” He turned to look at the woman. “And yours is huge,” he added. The woman scoffed at him.

“I don’t care. This isn’t about numbers, it’s about cars, my cars. I need information and your looks of awe aren’t going to cut it.” she said typing on her electronic pad. “Now about the ejected cars, have there been objects that didn’t match the environment? Phonebooths, college campus,’ a lot of turtles, too many turtles, a number of turtles that makes you think, why, why turtles again?” At the mention of turtles Hazel clung to the clothes of the Apex leaders in fear. Grace and Simon both looked at her and then each other. They couldn’t stay here. 

“We would be happy to answer all of your questions lady, just give us one second.” Grace said as she pulled the other two to the side. Hazel still gripped both of their clothes tightly, in fear.

“She’s talking about me right? I’m an anomaly?” Hazel said fearfully. As the pinpricks of tears began to form in her eyes it was clear Hazel was distressed. And when Hazel was distressed they all knew what happened. They needed to calm her down quickly.

“No Hazel, you’re not an anomaly, that lady doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” Simon said gently patting her head. Hazel wiped her tears.

“I’m not?” she asked nervously. 

“No, of course not.” Grace responded sweetly “She could be talking about anything.” Grace gave a look to Simon that indicated they needed to leave right now. Simon nodded before turning back to Hazel.

“Hazel, you’re a super brave member of the Apex right?” he asked, trying to sound calm. With a number that high and with her collaboration with One-One who knew how much of a danger that woman could be. It was important to keep Hazel as calm as possible. At the question Hazel nodded. “Well I just remembered that Code: 117 of the Apex says Never Trust Adult Passengers. So we’re all going to leave now okay?” he asked. Hazel nodded in response. 

“Is she looking at us?” Grace questioned. The three looked from their huddle at the woman who was seemingly obliviously typing away on her device. This was their opening. The woman looked up at them for a moment.

“What?” she asked annoyed. Simon scooped Hazel onto his back and the three made a mad dash in the opposite direction. “Where are you going?” she yelled after them. “Ugh I hate children.” she grumbled to herself after realizing that they had no intention of returning. The woman got up and ran after them. Grace cleared the way sliding down a rock face while Simon with Hazel on his back was not far behind. The two had only one goal at this point, keep Hazel safe. If that was a goal that required a lot of running then so be it. The woman slid down quickly behind them. Grace and Simon’s only goal may have been to keep Hazel safe but she too had a goal that being to fix the train and these annoying children were certainly not making it easy for her. As the group ran with Grace up ahead and Simon and Hazel nearby the woman stayed close to them. Frantically they ran across a stone bridge and were quite lucky when just before the woman could do the same a flock of flying serpents flew across blocking her path. By the time the serpents cleared the group was nowhere to be found. Defeated the woman settled for yelling across the bridge in the hopes that those awful children would hear it. “This car is marked for ejection!” she yelled. When she was given no response she pulled out her device and continued. “You know I can tell you children are in the car I can see your numbers on the screen!” she grumbled as she walked back across the bridge. The entire group let out a sigh of relief as Hazel hopped down from Simon’s back. 

“Grace, did you see her number? It was huge.” Simon said. Grace’s brow furrowed.

“Yeah I saw it, I wonder what she did to get it that high.” it was subtle but under the layers of curiosity and envy there was just a hint of fear in Grace’s voice at the idea. 

“I wish I could ask her. If anyone knows how to fix our numbers it’s her.” Simon said melancholically. Grace looked at him with a nervous look on her face.

“We are not going back there, it’s too dangerous.” she said seriously. Simon rolled his eyes.

“Of course i’m not saying we should all go back there, I’d never put Hazel in that kind of danger but one of us could go while the other stayed here.” he offered. In truth Simon was anxious with how low his number had gotten. It made him feel weak, like that same little kid who had been abandoned by The Cat. Simon had swore to himself that he’d never be that weak again and at this point he was anxious for any scrap of information that might correct his falling number. Grace could sense this desperation and in all honesty felt a bit concerned she didn’t feel it. Of course she wanted to get her number back up but, she’d been feeling, good, since her number had started dropping. She silently shook her head, this was all too much. She turned back to Simon and put on her most leaderly front.

“Simon, no. We’re both weak right now and one of us going off to talk to her is too big of a risk. We’re staying.” she said. Simon was incredibly annoyed by Grace’s words. Couldn’t she see the absurdity of what she was saying? They were getting weaker by the second and that lady knew something about how to help. If they just let their numbers keep failing soon they’d be too weak to protect themselves let alone Hazel and the other Apex kids.

“Grace what if when we’re hiding out our numbers drop to zero and we disappear what’s your plan for that?” he asked a bit more aggressively then he meant. Grace blinked at him slowly. Grace felt something building in her chest. She hadn’t thought about what would happen, but something in her screamed that talking to that woman about her number wasn’t the right move. She was strong, stronger than both of them. Hazel looked at them both with sadness before standing in between them.

“Please don’t fight.” Hazel begged. They both looked down at her, despite mentioning her in their argument the two had almost forgotten about her presences. Grace knelt down and gave her a hug. 

“I’m sorry Hazel we won’t fight anymore.” she said softly, calming the girl. Releasing the hug and standing up Grace looked Simon in the eyes. Simon at first thought she’d make one final jab or tell him to do whatever he wanted. But the part of Simon who really knew Grace told him better, something that was confirmed when he saw the sincerity in her eyes. “Please, don’t talk to her.” she asked quietly. It was clear that Grace was a bit uncomfortable simply asking Simon to stay with no justification. In previous times when they’d fought and she hadn’t had a good comeback she’d at least pulled rank. But as Simon stared at her with a soft expression and a small smile she knew it had been the right choice. 

“Okay.” he agreed. As the group pressed on they came across a cave. Grace set Tuba’s bag down and Hazel curled up on top of it, the exhaustion of their journey catching up to her. Simon made a small fire and sat beside it. As he gazed into the flames he remembered the night him and Grace had spent Jungle Car before meeting Tuba and Hazel. It all felt very strange and foreign to him now, the two people who’d talked around the fire that night now seeming more like characters and less like anyone recognizable. Simon wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep but he knew he’d been asleep for at least a while as it was pitch dark out and the light of the fire was now the only illumination provided. He scanned the room expecting to find Grace and Hazel asleep and in separate parts of the cave. Panic set in for a second when he found no sign of them but it was quickly alleviated when he looked to his right. His arm was tucked around Grace’s waist and her head was on his shoulder as she slept. Hazel was sprawled out between their laps, her head resting in Grace’s while her legs laid on his. This was nice. No better than nice, this was perfect. A selfish thought crossed Simon’s mind a silent wish that maybe they’d never go back to the Apex and stay like this forever. Simon shook the thought from his brain, this was temporary. He and Grace would go back to the Apex with Hazel and she’d become just another face in a crowd of children and him and Grace would go back to being leaders to being separate, this couldn’t last. Satisfied with the bittersweet thought Simon began to drift back to sleep when he caught a glimpse of the glowing neon emblazoned in his flesh and couldn’t help taking a look. It had dropped, again. Simon steeled himself. Even if this was temporary, Grace, Hazel, they were important to him. And with how weak he was now he couldn’t be of any use to them. He had to fix his number. Slowly Simon removed his arm from around Grace and tucked Hazel completely into her lap, freeing himself of their sleeping arrangement. As silently as he could manage he exited the cave. He stood outside it for a moment considering where he would go. He knew he wouldn’t go talk to that lady, not after he’d told Grace he wouldn’t but there was one other person he knew who might have answers for him even if he dreaded it. Simon pressed on leaving the car and making his way back to the cabin of The Cat. Simon stood at the door for a moment before entering. It wasn’t too late to turn back now, to go back to the cave and ignore his number and live in ignorant bliss pretending that things were fine. Simon took a deep breath and entered. “Hi.” he said. The Cat removed her reading glasses and looked behind her.

“Simon? Your back? Why?” she asked. The Cat remembered how upset Simon had been at having to even be in the same room as her so him coming back willingly meant that it was serious. He likely needed help though knowing what she knew about Simon she doubted that he’d just say that.

“I need your help.” he said entering the cabin. The cat was shocked at this, if Simon was so blunt as to ask for help directly than the situation must be truly dire.

“You do?” she questioned. “Oh hold on a minute I must go check if pigs have begun to fly considering that things seem to have become completely backwards.” Simon ignored her dry wit as he always did and continued with his plea.

“You know about numbers right?” he asked seriously. The Cat rolled her eyes at this, after all Simon should really know better.

“My dear I know about everything.” she responded. How ironic she was quite sure she and Simon had a very similar conversation when they’d first met. He’d been just a little boy then but just as lost and confused. And evidently just as desperate. 

“I need you to tell me what’s wrong with me.” he said. The Cat let out a laugh at this.

“Oh my dear where do I begin, 1. You have no respect for private property, 2. You are incredibly rude, 3. Your clothing choices are just awful-” she began. Simon groaned and cut her off. 

“I’m not joking. You left me to die. I think you owe me this.” he stated slightly frustrated. The Cat looked away sadly.

“I didn’t leave you Simon, I ran. There’s a difference.” she said. Simon put his head in his hands before looking back at her.

“I didn’t come here to argue about what specific brand of trauma you inflicted on me. I just want to know how to fix my number.” he said quietly “And besides either way, you never came back.” Simon blinked back the tears that he knew would come if left to their own devices.

“I-” The Cat cut herself off. Perhaps for the first time in 150 years she had no witty comeback. “What’s wrong with your number.” she asked softly. Simon sighed.

“My number is broken. Grace’s is too.” Simon in an attempt to avoid looking The Cat in the eyes picked up a trinket and began to fiddle with it. “They’re going down and I don’t know how to fix it and Grace doesn’t even want to try.” he passed the tricket between his hands and stared at it as if that’s who he was addressing his thoughts to. “Me and Grace we’ve got people who depend on us and if our numbers drop down to zero…” he trailed off. “There was this woman who had the highest number we’d ever seen, it was so big it practically broke our tracker. I bet she never has to worry about her number hitting zero.” At this The Cat’s eyes narrowed and her voice deepened.

“This woman, how old was she?” The Cat probed.

“I don’t know, she was just like, old.” Simon said. He wasn’t quite sure why that was the detail that Samantha had latched onto. “And, british.” he added. The Cat let out a hiss of anger.

“Amelia, her name is Amelia and we have had some unpleasant dealings. She’s tried to kill me a few times actually, but then again so have you. You didn’t talk to her did you?” she questioned clawing the arm of a chair.

“No, with how weak we are it would have been too dangerous for Hazel.” Simon said absent mindedly

“What?” The Cat asked

“Nothing, nothing.” Simon amended

“Well you haven’t talked to her that’s good, so keep it that way. And as for your numbers, well Simon you’re smart and so is Grace even if you two both use that intelligence poorly. If destruction and brutality brings a number up well then surely you both can extrapolate what brings a number down.” She said.

“Numbers are strength.” Simon said, seriously.

“Numbers are numbers, Simon and numbers are supposed to go down.” The Cat said. How far gone was this child if he’d been on the train all of this time and had still failed to grasp the fundamental purpose of its existence? “You say your numbers are broken? The truth is they are working exactly as they should’ve this entire time.” Simon tensed. The Cat was lying, she was a liar. She always had been. Simon desperately wanted to believe that she was completely lying but a small nagging part of his brain refused to. In an attempt to get that part of his mind to shut up Simon said it out loud.

“You’re lying.” he attempted to say it with gravitas, but that awful nagging part of his brain that told him everything he believed was wrong made it come out more like a question. 

“Why Simon, I never lie.” The Cat said poised. That at least Simon could refute with confidence.

“You lie all of the time about everything.” he said. The Cat simply shook her head.

“Well I never lie when I’m telling the truth.” she offered. Simon groaned and sat down. 

“I just-” he let out a sigh “Okay so what if you're right, and numbers going down is good? What if all this time me and Grace have been together encouraging each other to get the highest number was wrong?” Simon’s real fear bubbled to the surface before he could stop it. “If numbers going down is good then what if Grace realizes that the thing that’s been keeping her from getting that good thing was me? And what if she decides that she doesn’t want me around anymore because of that?” The Cat looked at Simon sympathetically before shaking her head.

“Oh Simon, you can’t control how people think of you, you can only control if you are the type of person that they want in their life. And though for the life of me I can’t understand why you and Grace seem to be that for each other.” Simon considered what The Cat had said. If what she’d said was true, which he still refused to completely believe, and numbers going down really was good he wouldn’t consider his time with Grace wasted. And even if the idea did scare him deep down he knew that Grace wouldn’t either. “If you really are that concerned, talk to her. And not that weird, eye thing, the two of you do. I mean really talk to her.” Samantha offered. Silently, Simon nodded. 

“Thank you Samantha.” Simon said. He got up and walked towards the door. 

“Take care of yourself Simon.” The Cat responded as Simon walked from her cabin. As a kindness she chose not to alert him that his number had dropped when he’d thanked her. Simon shoved his hands in his pockets and walked into the snow preparing for the trek back to Grace and Hazel. The Cat had told him things that, if true, would fundamentally change everything he believed in. How ironic then that the most impactful thing she’d told him had simply been a suggestion to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I wish I knew how to draw so i could draw Simon, Hazel, and Grace all asleep together.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The embers of the fire had long since died and the light of the sun filtered into the cave. As the sun’s rays reached Grace’s eyes she stirred and blinked, finally being woken from her slumber. She turned to her left to wake Simon and was alarmed to find that he wasn’t there. Panic set in for a moment as she feared he may have had a confrontation with that woman before she allowed herself to relax. Simon had promised her he wouldn’t talk to the woman, he wouldn’t lie to her. He probably just went to go scouting or something, he’d meet up with them soon. Grace looked down in her lap to find that Hazel was curled up in it and already awake. The girl giggled when finally being noticed by Grace.

“You drooled on me in your sleep.” she laughed. Grace smiled at her.

“And how long have you been up?” Grace sweetly asked.

“Forever!” Hazel dramatically responded. At this Grace laughed before deciding to see exactly how long Hazel had been up.

“Did you see when Simon left?” she asked. Grace was no longer worried Simon had done something reckless but she still wished she knew how long he’d been gone. Hazel shook her head at the question.

“Nuh uh, he’s been gone even longer than forever!” Hazel said. Grace felt a pit form in her stomach that she chose to ignore. Simon was fine, he had to be, she wouldn’t let herself think anything different. Grace and Hazel got up and Hazel rolled off her lap. As Grace picked up Tuba’s bag Hazel stared intently at her hand which had evidently transformed into a claw while she slept. Grace noticing this sought to correct it. 

“Hey Hazel be careful we don’t want that lady to see you.” she reminded her. Hazel retracted and then produced the claw at will a few times, it seemed she could now control the switching of her forms. “Hazel, stop that.” Grace ordered. Hazel looked at her concerned. 

“Why? It’s me, it’s all me.” Hazel said solemnly. 

“What if you get stuck that way?” Grace asked, to Hazel’s displeasure.

“Why would that be a bad thing?” Hazel shot back. Grace and Simon were so weird about her turtle half, treating it like it was some kind of defect. She knew it wasn’t. Grace prepared to shoot back a justification but was saved by the arrival of one of the large flying serpents they’d seen earlier. Apparently, it could also slither and at the moment it was slithering towards them with the intent to eat them both. As it reared its head and barred it fangs Grace shielded Hazel with her body in the hope that the creature would eat her rather than the little girl. However they were both spared this fate when suddenly the woman who’d been chasing them earlier ran in and downed the serpent with a shovel. She turned to them panting, clearly it had taken considerable effort to get to them in time. She stared at them with intent, if they dared give chase when she eventually caught up to them she would ensure it was the last time they escaped her, likely through forcefully tying them up. Grace, seeing no clear path of escape armed herself with a nearby sharp rock.

“Back off lady!” she ordered. The woman dropped her shovel and raised her hands above her head, She preferred this to be a peaceful interaction if only because it would require less running around. She began her speech.

“Look, I’m no good at this, but I just saved your lives and uh, well,” she extended a hand towards them as a show of good faith. Grace still stood in between her and Hazel, defensive and ready to fight if necessary. “Hello, I’m Amelia.” she offered in an attempt to give a proper introduction this time. Grace didn’t falter still standing near her rock in hand and Hazel behind her. Amelia simply sighed. “You kids want eggs? I’m making eggs.” she said. This excited Hazel who ran from behind Grace towards the mouth of the cave.

“Yes, please!” she said as she ran towards the cooking eggs.

“Hazel!” Grace said through the girl was already gone. Amelia gave Grace a sympathetic look, she did not care for children and she pitied those who did. Given no other option Grace followed Hazel out of the cave and sat in front of the pan where Amelia cooked.

“Believe me I don’t enjoy asking for your help,” Amelia said. Hazel stared intently at the eggs as they cooked. “But I need to understand and correct this anomaly. I appreciate your corroboration Grace.” she concluded. As she thanked the girl two stray numbers on the woman’s neck fell. Grace looked at her in shock. Even with a number that high it was still failing. Perhaps her and Simon weren’t the only people affected.

“Your number just fell.” Grace informed her. Amelia sighed clearly in different.

“Did it? Oh, well when your numbers this high a stray digit here or there doesn’t make much of a dent.” she stated calmly. She finished cooking the eggs and began to offer them. “How many eggs do children eat?” she asked. Hazel giggled at the question.

“Six and a half! That’s how old I am.” she responded giving Amelia her age rather than a proper number of eggs. Amelia looked at Grace for an answer who simply responded with a shrug. Sighing once again Amelia began to divy up the eggs as she best saw fit. 

“Six-ish burnt eggs.” she offered the girl. “I probably should have mentioned I’m not great at eggs. Or any food.” she corrected. Hazel clearly disagreed as she gobbled up the eggs at a rapid pace.

“You make the best pancakes!” she said stuffing the food in her mouth. Amelia looked at her curiously. The only person who’d ever enjoyed her cooking was-. She put that out of her mind. Likely it was just some childish nonsense the little girl was spouting.

“While it pains me to turn down my first complement in 33 years we just met yesterday, you’ve never had them.” Amelia said. At this Hazel shook her head and rebutted her.

“I just know.” she asserted. Amelia sighed.

“You and Alrick both then.” As she offered Grace a plate of eggs she noticed that she cut her serving in half and put one half in a plastic baggy. Amelia gave her a curious look. Grace, noting this offered her justification. 

“Simon will be hungry when he gets back.” Internally Grace was trying to calm herself. Simon was fine, he just went out for a bit. He’d be hungry either way so making sure he had breakfast was the right thing to do. She ignored the changing of her number and put the plastic bag in her fanny pack.

“Simon? Oh you mean ponytail.” Amelia scoffed “He left the car late last night, passed right by me without even noticing.” At this news Grace tensed. Simon had left the car? Why? And why had he been gone so long? Hazel, clearly unaware of Grace’s nervousness, went back to the topic before.

“What’s an Alrick?” she asked naively. Amelia took a deep breath. The girl hadn’t meant anything by it. She mentally prepared herself and then explained.

“Alrick was a person, he was my person. And I lost him.” The sadness in Amelia’s voice was palpable but coated every word as if she’d said it a million times and it hadn’t gotten any easier. Like a polished stone that never seemed to lose its luster the grief in Amelia’s voice refused to fade when she spoke of him, no matter how many years had passed. Grace considered her phrase for a moment. Alrick was her person. She understood that, she had a person. As she looked at the lines under Amelia’s eyes the grief and perpetual tiredness that permeated them she wondered if that was what happened when you lost your person. She felt her stomach twist in knots at the idea and was only released from the thought when Hazel, being the kindest child in the world, gave a big hug to Amelia. 

“I like you, we’re all here for you.” Hazel said, hugging Amelia’s waist. Amelia looked at her with confusion for a moment. She wasn’t particularly interested in displays of emotion and she never really had been. She removed the child from her midsection and spoke again.

“Really heartwarming, but this car is marked for ejection. It’s time to go.” Amelia said packing up her cooking implements. At this Grace bristled standing up and speaking with authority.

“We aren’t leaving without Simon.” she said. Amelia rolled her eyes though she wasn’t quite sure why. Perhaps at her old age the passion of youth was annoying to her.

“Ugh, fine.” she conceded. The three left out of the car the way Simon had and stepped onto the bridge. As they walked Grace called out.

“Simon! Simon where are you?” the knot is Grace’s stomach was tight and she silently begged for any response. Her wish was granted when she heard a familiar voice respond back.

“Grace!” Simon yelled as he hopped down from the roof of a train car. Grace and Hazel pushed past Amelia to meet him. Hazel quickly threw her arms around his legs in a hug.

“Simon! You’re back! You missed breakfast.” Hazel informed him happily. Simon gave a sheepish look as his stomach rumbled in response to the mention of breakfast. “Wow! You sound like there’s a monster in your stomach!” Hazel added

“I guess I was hungrier than I thought.” he mused. He looked at Grace who wore an unreadable look on her face. “Grace I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I left I just-” Simon found his apology being cut off as Grace threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Caught off guard at first Simon quickly returned the gesture, remembering their encounter in the cabin.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again.” Grace said, face still buried in his hoodie. Simon responded in kind, his head resting in the crook of Grace’s neck.

“I know. I won’t. I’m sorry.” he muttered against her. Behind them Amelia let out a groan and rolled her eyes. 

“That is incredibly sweet but perhaps you could save the confessions of undying love for next time?” she said sarcastically. Ending their hug Simon and Grace fell behind Amelia walking alongside Hazel. Simon spoke first whispering to her.

“Should we be around her?” he asked, gesturing to Hazel. Grace shook her head.

“She saved our lives, and she doesn’t know anything. Since she’s so strong it felt like a safe bet.” Grace’s mind raced, Simon was okay, her person was okay. Grace knew that if she didn’t tell Simon what she felt she never would, and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him because she was too afraid to let things change. “Can I talk to you about something important later?” She asked. Simon nodded as his stomach grumbled once again. “Shouldn’t have skipped breakfast.” Grace noted jokingly

“Ugh I know I’m starving.” Simon responded. Grace laughed at this before unzipping her fanny pack and handing him the baggie of eggs. 

“Here I saved some for you.” she offered. A small blush crossed Simon’s face though he tried not to let it. She’d thought of him. Of course she had, they always looked out for each other. Grace really did care about him, she was his person. Simon gobbled down the eggs happy to satiate his hunger. Grace crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly.

“So, where have you been this entire time?” she probed.

“I went to go see The Cat.” he said honestly. Grace looked shocked; Simon willingly saw The Cat? After everything that had happened?

“Is everything okay?” she asked sincerely. Noting her sincerity Simon nodded.

“I’ll tell you all about it later.” he responded. Grace nodded. It seemed that the two were going to have a very interesting conversation later, whenever that was. Simon was okay with that. As they walked across the bridge Simon noticed something strange.

“Amelia, right?” he asked.

“Yes ponytail?” Amelia responded. Ignoring that Simon continued with his question.

“Your belt, that symbol, do you know what it means?” he asked. Simon was sure that the belt’s symbol was the same as the Apex wave.

“What are you prattling on about?” she responded annoyed.

“Your belt has the symbol of the Apex on it.” Simon said. Grace took a look. He was right, the red wave, just as the Apex wore. 

“You mean this sign wave? It’s a sound shield doofus.” Amelia said, rolling her eyes. However as she turned behind her to look at the confused children she noticed what she hadn’t seen before. All three of them wore a red lipstick smear across their face resembling her shield, even the little one. “Wait is that why you all have smeared lipstick on your faces?” she asked, confused. She couldn’t remember if this level of stupidity was normal for children or if she’d simply encountered a strange bunch. Grace spoke first to explain why they wore the symbol.

“This mark represents the true conductor, a man with the highest number who wore a big balck helmet with a red wave on it.” Grace explained. 

“He was imprisoned by the false conductor, One-One. He was the most powerful passenger the train had ever seen.” Simon added. At this Amelia laughed, she’d never seen such a ridiculous bunch of children in her life. 

“Tell me this man, he had a face with a symbol on it and let me guess,” Amelia pulled a vocoder out of her bag “A voice like this.” she said speaking into the device. Grace gasped, that had been the voice of the conductor, the voice she’d heard when she was a child. “If anyone was a false conductor, it was yours truly.” Amelia took a bow to signify her status as their worshipped false conductor. Simon and Grace looked like all the color had drained from their faces,and Hazel looked at them with confusion. Clinging on to each other and Hazel they seemed to go through all of the stages of grief in an instant. Grace was the one to speak.

“Seven years ago do you remember saving a girl in the pumpkin car?” she asked genuinely. Amelia turned away from the children and quickly responded.

“No. Look I could sit around and reminisce all day but we have to move on so let’s progress to the next car.” she said walking forward. Grace and Simon, still in shock, shuffled forward behind her. It felt as though the tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife. Grace had just heard the voice that she knew belonged to the true conductor. And twice in less than 24 hours Simon had his world view shattered. It would have been utterly appropriate for them to stay silent, and yet despite his belief system crumbling around him, seeing Hazel’s utterly lost face Simon thought it right to make a joke. Putting on an awful british accent Simon began.

“Oi, I’m Amelia, tea and crumpets and all that ponytail.” he said, struggling to speak through his own laughter. Hazel lit up perhaps more than she had since Tuba’s death and Grace shared a laugh as well. The tension faded and laughter settled in the three feeling more genuinely happy than they had it quite a long time as they walked behind Amelia laughing at her accent. As they entered the car Amelia sighed, annoyed.

“Brillant, it’s reset. We’ll have to wait.” she said seting down her things. Hazel sat down next to her and began playing with a pile of sticks. Grace and Simon sat nearby, keeping an eye of Hazel but preparing to have that talk they’d promised each other.

“What do you think?” Hazel asked, showing Amelia one of the sticks she held. Amelia rolled her eyes.”

“I think that they are sticks.” she exasperated. Hazel laughed at her response.

“They’re robots.” Hazel told her. Amelia drew in a breath.

“Oh sorry, my mistake.” she said once again in her most wooden voice. As Grace and Simon sat near each other both looked as though they wanted to say something but it was clear neither wanted to talk. Simon was the first to talk though it was completed unrelated to his meeting with The Cat.

“Do you want to talk to her about what she knows.” he said in reference to Amelia. In truth his belief in the Apex mythos was wavering quite a bit and he wanted Grace’s permission to explore that. Grace unbenounced to him, wanted the same thing.

“Yeah, we can talk about everything else later but we should see what she has to say.” she responded

“Exclusively for research purposes.” Simon added attempting to give the two some plausible deniability from their own minds.

“Of course, just for research.” Grace added. The two got up and moved to sit near Amelia and Hazel. Grace looked at Amelia and spoke first.

“So, can you tell us about the true conductor?” she asked, more shy than she’d ever been. Amelia chuckled and reached for her bag pulling out a thermos and a glass bottle filled with brown liquid.

“Ha! Yes I can tell you about it,” Amelia said pouring the brown liquid into the thermos which was revealed to be filled with coffee through smell. “Though if you kids are as far gone as you seemed to be you might want some of this.” she finished, offering Grace the bottle. She and Simon read the label and Simon raised an objection.

“Is this whiskey? Did you just pour whiskey into your coffee?” he asked. Amelia nodded.

“It’s Irish coffee, and if there’s one thing we Brits know, it’s how to steal from the Irish.” she said, taking a gulp of the drink. Simon shook his head. 

“We can’t drink, we’re seventeen.” he explained. Amelia rolled her eyes.

“So what, you’ve got a couple months till it’s legal?” she scoffed before eying them again. “Oh wait you're Americans aren't you?” she took the bottle back while mumbling something about America and their stupid drinking laws before taking another sip of her drink and starting. “I was a passenger just like all of you. I didn’t like how One did things,” she began. Grace and Simon stared at her with interest. “So, I took control. I tried to recreate my old life, failed, again, and again, and again. I created things that never should have been. I am the creator of the cars I’m ejecting, but One didn’t fancy that so any cars he didn’t make I’m ejecting.” she explained. Grace and Simon took the information in for a moment absorbing what they’d just learned. Hazel continued playing with the stick pile. It was Simon’s turn to ask a question now.

“So, are you like One-One’s prisoner?” he questioned. She was wearing that weird jumpsuit after all. Amelia laughed. 

“Prisoner? Of that little peanut? Do you know how easy it was to take over this train? That robot couldn’t keep anyone imprisoned if he wanted to.” she responded humorously. The humor faded from her voice as she continued. “No, I’m making amends, maybe one day I’ll even get off this train.” she added. Grace’s brow furrowed.

“Get off the train?” Grace asked. Amelia looked at her with shock upon noticing her and Simon’s utter confusion with the idea of leaving the train.

“Oh my God how confused are you two exactly? Are you sure you don’t want the whiskey because I have a feeling you might want it for what I say next.” The two shook their heads. “Suit yourselves.” Amelia said, taking another swig of the coffee. “The goal of the train is to get your number down to zero, when that happens you go home, back to the real world. To get your number to zero you work through your problems the worse you do the higher your number goes. Until you do that you are trapped on the train.” Grace and Simon shared a dark look. If what she said was true if numbers represented your problems then, all of the Apex kids who they’d encouraged to get higher numbers, had they been trapping them? Simon pulled Grace aside into a huddle.

“Do you believe her?” Simon asked quietly. He already knew how he felt but he desperately didn’t want to say anything until he knew how Grace felt. It was like the walls were closing in, like the car was collapsing in on itself. Grace seeing Simon’s clear distress gave her answer.

“Yeah, a little bit. Do you?” she asked him. Simon released a breath that he was holding in now that he had the news that he wasn’t alone.

“Yeah, I think I do.” The two were at an impasse and they knew it. Everything they believed was wrong. Everything they’d held dear was false. How were they supposed to cope with that, to change their entire way of thinking? Amelia looked over at the children and called over to them.

“Are you two finished with your existential crisis yet? The little one wants you to play robots with her.” Amelia said gesturing to Hazel. Grace and Simon gave each other a nod. Even if they were terrified, even if their world was crumbling around them, they couldn’t let Amelia know that. Their distress would be obvious to Hazel and might cause her to panic. And keeping Hazel calm, keeping Hazel safe was the thing they’d promised they’d do. Walking back over to Amelia the two crossed their arms. 

“We don’t believe you.” Simon said attempting to put on an air of confidence. Amelia rolled her eyes.

“I don’t believe that for one, but excluding that I also don’t care.” she responded. “Now would you please entertain this one,” she said, gesturing to Hazel. “I can only tolerate children for so long.” After saying this Amelia got up and walked towards the door taking a seat nearby it. “I’ll be over here drinking my coffee. Please do not disturb me.” Grace and Simon took a seat near Hazel. As Hazel handed them both sticks Simon noticed something strange.

“Hazel, your arm!” he said. Hazel’s arm had indeed reverted back to it’s turtle form. Hazel smiled.

“I know, isn't it cool!” she said “Look what I can do!” she added as she showed him the retractable trick she’d shown Grace eariler. Just as Grace had Simon scolded her for this.

“Hazel stop that!” he said. Hazel looked at him frustrated.

“Why?” she asked incredulously. “Why do I have to stop it?” Simon put his fingers on his temples. 

“Because if you do Amelia will find out.” he explained. Hazel was just being a kid but with all of the existential revelations he’d had today Simon was not in the mood for this. Hazel, uninterested in Simon’s frustration, asked another question.

“Why is it bad if she finds out? How do you know she’ll do something bad?” To give Simon a break from having to answer Hazel’s questions Grace took over.

“Well Hazel we don’t know that she’ll do something bad, but we don’t know that she’ll do something good either. It’s unpredictable.” Grace’s hope that her explanation would be enough to satiate Hazel was quickly squashed when Hazel responded.

“That’s what you said about Denizens!” Hazel reminded her. Grace looked at her with confusion.

“What?” Grace asked genuinely not knowing what Hazel was referring to.

“That’s what you said about train people, you said that we couldn’t trust them because they were unpredictable and just now you said that we can’t trust Amelia because she’s unpredictable so which is it?” Hazel was clearly distressed at this point but before either of them could do anything to comfort her Hazel continued. “Am I just supposed to trust you two? Why should I when the two of you won’t even let me look the way that I’m supposed to?” she cried. The two could only look on as Hazel transformed into her turtle form. Amelia, who up until this point had been mostly tuning them out walked over just in time to see the change. Pushing past the two Apex leaders Amelia grasped Hazel’s face and examined it.

“I got closer than I ever imagined.” she said breathlessly realizing that she’d managed to create an approximation of a human being. She looked at Hazel’s hand where her number had been tattooed on. “This, this was my number when I got on the train.” she turned to address Grace and Simon. “The girl’s not a passenger, she's one of my failed attempts at making Alrick.” she explained. Simon blinked twice before attempting to recap what they’d just learned.

“So Hazel, is a clone of this Alrick person?” he asked.

“Alrick was her dead boyfriend.” Grace explained helpfully. 

“Ugh, no she’s not a clone, she’s something, something else I don’t know.” Amelia said, shaking her head. This was not at all the form she thought the anomaly would take and she hadn’t really prepared for this outcome.

“I’m Hazel!” the girl asserted.

“That’s debatable.” Amelia responded. “If the pulse I created pases through any car with her inside of it will be ejected. I’ll take it from here, the girl needs to be quarantined before the pulse pasess through.” Amelia stared over the gap to the car. “Once the canyon fills you’ll be able to leave.” she explained. Simon narrowed his eyes at her. 

“I don’t know who you think you are but you're not taking Hazel.” he said. Amelia rolled her eyes.

“If the two of you think you can stop me, knock yourselves out. Otherwise I will be recording all of this for future Amelia to remember.” she said casually. Simon grumbled annoyed. Grace put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

“Simon, listen, she’s got that weird, energy force field around her and Hazel is still really upset. Trying to make it out of here with her through force isn’t going to work. Let’s stay here until the canyon fills and come up with a plan in the meantime.” Simon took a calming deep breath and relaxed. Grace turned to Amelia, “We’re going to stay until the canyon fills.” she told her. Amelia didn’t even bother to look up. Simon and Grace settled down against the wall and a nervous Hazel came over to them. She darted her eyes back and forth as if she was guilty.

“Can I sleep with you guys?” she asked quietly.

“Of course Hazel why wouldn’t you?” Grace asked

“Because I’m a turtle clone.” Hazel mumbled. Ignoring this Simon and Grace gestured for her to join them. The arrangement was much like it had been in the previous car, with Simon’s arm around Grace’s waist and her head on his shoulder. However rather than curled up in their laps Hazel went into her shell and snuggled at their feet. Things were different, but still nice. And they wouldn’t be like that ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably my favorite chapter to write


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Our splintered team sat sleeping in the cave resting up for what was to come. Grace was awoken by one of the falling rocks hitting her on the head. She blinked twice before looking over to the door of the cave. Amelia was awake already, making breakfast and sipping from her thermos which was no doubt still filled with black coffee and whiskey. Hazel sat nearby watching Amelia fry up some eggs over the flame. The two seemingly hadn’t yet noticed that she’d woken from her slumber. Turning to her side she gently shook Simon who stirred from his sleep and looked over at the others. Him and Grace shared a look of concern. How long had Hazel been around Amelia before they’d woken up? What had Amelia told her in that time? Cautiously the two made their way over to Amelia and the pan of eggs. Hazel looked up and smiled at them. “You two are awake! Ms Amelia is making pancakes!” she said happily. Amelia gave her usual annoyed eye roll.

“No I am not, I’ve already told you that I’m making eggs.” she sighed. Grace and Simon sat down in between the two forming a sort of wall between Hazel and Amelia. Simon was the first of the two to speak,

“Hazel, how long have you and Amelia been up?” he asked. He tried to sound casual with the question but there was the distinctive tone of worry in his voice. Hazel grinned.

“Forever,” she began before switching to a whisper “Ms Amelia talks a lot after she drinks her coffee.” she added quietly. Grace and Simon didn’t know whether to be worried about what Amelia had said or to laugh at the thought of the constantly frustrated Amelia pouring her heart out to a child in the early morning hours. They choose instead to change the subject. Their time was limited after all and convincing Amelia to let them leave with Hazel wasn’t going to be easy. Grace turned to address the woman and began.

“So, we’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” Grace said “And while it was shocking to discover how you were related to Hazel’s origins-” Amelia cut her off not interested in whatever it was that Grace was taking such a long time to get to the point of. 

“We do have a time limit so if you could please speed this up.” she reminded her. Grace rolled her eyes at the interruption and continued. 

“From what you’ve explained Hazel will be a threat to any car that she enters and as the leader of the Apex there are people counting on me to keep them safe.” Grace took a sharp inhale and Simon looked at her with curiosity. Even if he didn’t understand exactly where she was going with this he knew she’d never seriously consider leaving Hazel behind. Grace continued with her speech, “Hazel is one of those people who is counting on me.” Grace now turned to look at Hazel. In her she saw everything that she had stolen from her, everything she’d accidentally stolen from the other Apex kids, goodness, uncorrupted purity. “Hazel when we gave you the red wave we made you Apex, and Apex never leave Apex behind.” she finished. Hazel looked at her with a fondness, a softness, that Grace almost didn’t believe she deserved. After everything she’d learned, after realizing what she’d done maybe she’d never see herself as deserving that kind of softness. But then again, if someone as good as Hazel could look at her like that, knowing all of the awful things she’d believed, maybe it wasn’t too late for her after all. This nice moment was ended by a scoff from Amelia. 

“I hope you enjoyed that moment of sentimentality because you’re not getting another one. I don’t know what’s so difficult for you children to understand about this but anywhere this child,” she gestured to Hazel “Goes cars will eject. You say you have others who are counting on you? You can’t possibly put them in danger for the sake of one person. It’s ridiculous.” she finished. Grace wanted to say something back but the words got caught in her throat. Amelia was right, of course Amelia was right. But they couldn’t leave Hazel, she was important. With Grace failing to respond Simon did it instead speaking to the woman seriously. 

“Listen, we won’t leave Hazel, even if it’s dangerous to take her it’s even more dangerous to leave her with you, a person we barely know.” Amelia rolled her eyes and responded. 

“Well it’s a good thing I wasn’t asking either of you then isn’t it.” she said coldly. Amelia wasn’t an awful person but she wasn’t going to sit here and argue with children about things that they clearly didn’t understand. Simon grew annoyed at her coldness, Hazel was just a little girl who’d lost everything and now Amelia wanted to rip her away from the only stability she had. He had failed Tuba, he’d failed the Apex kids, he wouldn’t fail Hazel. 

“And what gives you the right to just decide what happens to her?” he asked, frustrated, something that was not helped by Amelia’s chuckle at the question.

“What gives me the right? Listen up ponytail, I did an awful thing 30 years ago because I was hurt. I made a choice to try and be better than I was even if it’s slow going. I made a promise that for all I’d messed up this train I wouldn’t mess it up any further. I work to fix the mistakes I made on this train even when it’s difficult. You run a summer camp and wear lipstick on your face, that’s what gives me the right.” she finished. At this Simon racked his brain for anything that he could say in return that would even begin to scratch the surface of responding to Amelia but found he came up short. Grace placed a hand on his shoulder indicating that it was time to let it go and he quieted himself in response. The four of them sat like this in silence for a moment before it dawned on Grace that the person they’d been arguing on the behalf of hadn’t even weighed in. She turned to Hazel, who looked nervous and asked her the question that she should have started with.

“Hazel what do you want?” she questioned. Hazel looked at her with a soft almost sad smile and Grace’s heart broke because she knew whatever Hazel said next it wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear. 

“Ms. Amelia said that your numbers are supposed to go down and when they get to zero you go home; is that true?” she asked. Her voice was full of hope and sadness and she didn’t look either of the Apex leaders in the eye when she’d said it. Grace looked nervous and responded with a non-committal answer.

“We don’t really know.” Grace said though the little upward tick in her voice at the end of the sentence clued Hazel into the fact that she was lying. Hazel shook her head. 

“You two love me don’t you?” Hazel asked quietly. Grace and Simon fell over themselves to answer.

“Hazel of course we love you.” they both rushed out perhaps in a vain hope that this would change the next thing that Hazel was to say to them.

“I don’t have a number, not really.” Hazel said, gesturing towards her hand. “So I can’t get off the train.” There was no sadness in Hazel’s voice at the idea and really why would there be. All Hazel had ever known was this train, it made sense she had no interest in leaving it. She continued on to the hardest part of what she had to say. “You two both have numbers, so you’ll get off the train someday, and I want you to. But that means I can’t stay with you.” Hazel looked at them both now for some confirmation of what she’d said. Whatever confirmation she was looking for evidently she’d found it because she concluded with. “It can be good to let go.” Grace tried to ignore the bitter sting of tears in her eyes as she responded to Hazel’s claim. 

“You want to leave because you think if you stay we’ll leave you? Hazel we won’t I promise, just come back with us.” Hazel sadly shook her head.

“I want to leave because I know if I stay you won’t leave me.” Hazel said softly. She too could feel the tears running down her face, still in her turtle form. Simon was next to speak trying for a slightly different approach. 

“But Hazel, Apex doesn’t leave Apex behind.” he offered. Once again Hazel shook her head before wiping the lipstick squiggle that had been applied to her face off.

“I was never really Apex material.” she said. She looked at them both now, standing up and staring them both in the eyes. “It’s okay to be afraid. But if things stayed the same forever, they’d never get any better.” she finished. Now she turned to Amelia. “You know a lot of stuff about me that I want to learn, I’m coming with you.” she said. Amelia put down her plate of eggs and rolled her eyes again.

“Well obviously you coming with me was a foregone conclusion, however this isn’t some fun life-affirming road trip, I’m doing my job. I’m an inventor, an engineer, a snappy dresser. But I am not your caretaker and I will not be getting attached to you.” she specified. No sense in letting this little girl be confused about exactly what the nature of this relationship would be. Hazel let out a quiet laugh at this.

“You’re still really weird.” she said. Amelia ignored her comment.

“I suppose you might be worth studying.” Amelia said, eyeing the girl. Grace let out a sad, quiet gasp at this. How could this be happening, this couldn’t be happening. Hazel wasn’t really going with Amelia was she? As the four stood on opposite ends of the bridge it sunk in that yes this was indeed the way that things had panned out. Grace and Simon held back tears as they watched Hazel cling onto Amelia the way she had clung on to them countless times. Amelia, possibly oblivious but more likely uninterested ignored their obvious distress. “Stand back, the pulse should be coming any minute.” The tears flowed freely down their faces as Grace spoke to the little girl for what felt like the last time.

“Hazel it’s not too late to change your mind.” she begged. Hazel responded only with a soft smile which confirmed she wasn’t interested in such a change. 

“Hazel please just come back with us.” Simon added not even bothering with the effort of blinking away the tears as he usually did. Hazel’s eyes watered as well, leaving the two of them wasn’t easy for her either. But Hazel was smart, smart enough to know that if she wanted these two people she cared for to get better, she couldn’t stay with them. As the pulse careened towards their car and the bridge separated and rose Hazel and Amelia into the air Hazel offered one last comfort to the two of them. Wiping and tears from her eyes and pulling the brightest smile she could manage Hazel said,

“I love you both, good luck.” And with that Hazel and Amelia’s car lifted into the air and the two were gone leaving Grace and Simon together on the platform sobbing. Still together and yet feeling nothing but complete and utter loneliness. The tears refused to stop coming despite attempts to keep them away and while normally the two would seek each other for comfort neither was truly prepared to work through the overwhelming grief that they felt. There stood Grace and Simon, crying over a denizen they’d loved and who’d loved them back. Who’d left them for their own good. After a while the two reentered the car, seeing nothing else that they could do. As the two trudged through the last car that they’d been in with Hazel and the first they’d been in without her in a long time there was silence saved for the occasional pained sob from either of them that the other chose to ignore. It was utterly appropriate for the two to be silent, after they’d just lost Hazel. And yet as they walked through the origami car both still had the awareness to avoid stepping on the little paper birds that littered the car’s floor. As they crossed the car to the door Grace reached out her hand to open it before hearing a pained chirp. Looking to her right she saw two birds that had been crumpled perhaps by some passenger or other. Wordlessly Grace and Simon moved towards the birds each taking one in their hand and uncrumpling them, returning them to their original state. The birds thanked their respective helpers by fluttering near each of them and flying away inside the car. It dawned on Grace that they didn’t have to do that, even if they’d accepted that they shouldn’t hurt denizens there was nothing stating they had to help them either. And yet they both had, almost unconsciously even though just a month ago they likely would have gone out of their way to kill such creatures. Tears began falling from Grace’s eyes once again though she wasn’t sure why and desperate to ignore them she simply pressed on into the next car. Opening the door she froze. She knew this car, she’d been here before years ago, they were in the pumpkin car. Almost robotically Grace shuffled deeper into the car with Simon trailing behind her. However, only a few feet in suddenly Grace broke down. Dropping to the ground and sitting against a giant pumpkin Grace placed her head in her hands and sobbed. Finally whatever wall of silence that had been between them was shattered as Grace spoke to Simon directly for the first time in what felt like years as she said, 

“What are we going to do now?” her words were broken up by sobs and her voice strained as she asked it. Simon was never really great at this sort of thing and he was in pain too. But Grace needed him right now, and so throwing his arms around her Simon embraced her. Grace clung on to him as if he was a life raft and buried herself against him as it was the last line of defense between herself and crippling sadness. Perhaps it was as after only a short time Grace felt herself calm down significantly and she pulled away from the hug to look Simon in the eyes. She felt so embarrassed at having fallen apart in front of him, even though they’d both been crying just a short time earlier. As she wiped her tears Grace attempted to simply play the moment of perceived weakness off. “I’m sorry about that. I know I must seem like a mess right now.” even as she said it she knew it wouldn’t work. Just as she’d never accept that kind of excuse from Simon he would not be content with that answer from her. 

“Grace, it’s okay, I’m hurt too.” he said. He wanted Grace to understand that she was in no way alone in her pain, she had him even when the two were at their lowest. As they sat against the giant pumpkin Grace finally said what had been plaguing her mind. 

“I’m not ready to go back to the Apex yet.” It was a fair thought. She still hadn’t sorted through the truth about Amelia, nor had she processed the loss of Hazel, or the idea of leaving the train. All of it was still bumping around in her brain refusing to let her rest. How could she go back to the mall car and try to lead the Apex when she was barely able to keep herself together. Simon took a deep breath, he’d been thinking the same but the wall of silence had kept him from sharing it.

“It’s okay, we can just stay here for a little bit.” he suggested. Grace gave a sigh of relief.

“That sounds nice.” Grace said. She turned to look at him now feeling as though she was forgetting something before it came back to her. “We owe each other a talk don’t we?” she asked. Simon nodded in response. 

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Simon asked, trying to sound casual while internally being a mess of tears. Grace thought for a moment staring at her number, then Simon’s before what she’d wanted to ask earlier came back to her. She almost didn’t want to now, the answer seeming trivial compared to what had happened since but she still wanted to know. 

“Why did you go see The Cat?” she asked quietly. Simon’s mind raced, and he internally took a breath before answering.

“I was confused, and scared. And I wanted to talk to someone, so I went to The Cat. She actually gave me some surprisingly good advice.” he finished. Grace looked at him like she wanted him to go on and so he amended his statement with the thing he really hadn’t wanted to say. “I wanted to talk to you but I guess I thought, I don’t know, that you wouldn’t want to deal with my problems.” Simon knew it was stupid before he’d said it and the look of compassion on Grace’s face confirmed it. Of course she’d care about his problems, they’d always been there for each other, and even with their constantly shifting beliefs that at least was consistent.

“Simon I’m always going to be there for you.” she said and she’d meant it. Grace looked around the car now, rows and rows of pumpkins stretched on seemingly endlessly towards the exit. Looking around wistfully she brought up the obvious. “This is where I saw the conductor, or I guess, Amelia.” she said. “It’s weird to think that we were wrong. she added quietly. Simon nodded in response, no use delaying the obvious. 

“So...what do you think about the idea of getting off the train?” he asked. He half expected the air to go completely still and for the two to return to sitting in silence when he’d asked but was pleasantly surprised when Grace quickly responded.

“I don’t know, the idea of seeing my parents again after all this time is…” Grace trailed off as she realized she hadn’t planned an end to that sentence. Not wanting to discuss her own complicated feelings she turned a question on Simon, “What we’re your parents like?” she asked. She’d only ever heard a few anecdotes about Simon’s family but the two never truly talked about their life before the train. Simon, who was initially caught off guard by the question, shot back a response.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me.” He offered. Now the ball was in Grace’s court. She almost wanted to decline, almost. But, no she’d tell him, if there was anyone who she was okay with telling it would be him. Grace nodded agreeing to the arrangement and Simon began.

“My dad was in the army and he was out on deployment a lot. But he loved me and my mom, he’d always call us, always write to us, and he’d get super excited when he was coming home. Since my dad didn’t get to be there as much as he would have liked whenever he came he’d make sure to take me somewhere or do something with me. My mom on the other hand had to be the one to actually parent me and…” Simon stopped to consider something. In his memories, his mother was the worst, a borderline abusive tyrant but when trying to recall any instances of her behaving that way he’d never been able to. It was at that moment that he realised why that was. “I was an awful kid. She was just doing her best to take care of me and I hated her for it. The day I left right before I ran away I screamed at her that I hated her.” Simon said this with an air of surprise in his voice but despite this being the first time he’d voiced it out loud he’d known that this was true from the beginning. Perhaps it had simply been easier to pretend his life off the train had been awful so that he wouldn’t have to consider the idea of returning back and facing what he’d put his parents through. But at the very least, he’d recognised it now, if he ever did manage to get back he could be better. He looked at Grace expectantly, as it was her turn now. Grace began struggling for a moment on where to start.

“My parents were diplomats, their work was all over the world so they were out of the country a lot. They’d always leave me with my nanny but nannies never lasted long so I didn’t really get attached to any of them. My parents really wanted me to be the best so I was homeschooled by really expensive tutors and I took dance lessons from the most famous instructors but my parents were never really interested in how I felt about it.” It hurt to remember these things and it was painful to think about how long she’d strived for her parents attention, for her parents affection, and was still seemingly never able to get it. “I think, I think that my parents really wanted a trophy more than they wanted a daughter. You know something nice to show off and brag about and to be seen and never heard.” she finished. The idea of getting off the train was never something she’d considered because she really had seen her life off the train as worse. But then again being on the train had made her a worse person than she’d been before it for sure so perhaps she really would have been better off if she’d stayed. If she’d voiced her feelings to her parents, if she convinced them to let her go to school, if she’d kept dancing. Maybe her life would have been great. But she was robbed of knowing. She wouldn’t rob the children they protected of the same thing. “Simon, we have to help the Apex kids get their numbers down.” she explained. Simon nodded in agreement.

“For all we set them back we could at least admit we were wrong and try to help them the right way.” he responded. It was funny, Simon could imagine a world where learning this, learning that he had been wrong would have ruined him. But with Grace by his side, affirming that it was okay to be wrong, and with Hazel’s choice to leave them in the hope that it would push them to finally leave the train, shifting what he’d understood felt a little easier. Speaking of Grace he could remember her saying she wanted to talk to him about something not that long ago. When she’d told him she’d said it was important. “Did you have something you wanted to tell me?” he asked. He had no idea what it could be and was fairly interested in what she had to say. Internally Grace panicked, she’d hoped Simon had forgotten she’d said that. But as long as they were making choices that would change the course of their lives forever she might as well say it.

“I wanted to say,” Grace paused nervously, she couldn’t believe that she was really about to do this. “I wanted to say that I love you too. Because you said it when we were in the cabin and I never said it back.” Simon felt a blush come across his face that he tried to ignore, obviously Grace meant it non-romantically he needed to stop setting himself up to get hurt. Grace could see in Simon's face that he wasn’t really getting it. “I mean romantically. I would have told you before but you know, change is scary, and then a bunch of stuff happened and it didn’t really seem like a good time but…” she trailed off. Simon understood what she meant at this point. The two of them were staring at each other now both waiting for the other to make a move. Eventually Simon was the one to do so. Putting his hand to her face like he’d done before he asked her a question almost in a whisper secretly fearing that if he spoke too loudly this would all melt away and be revealed to be a cruel dream.

“Can I kiss you?” he said. Grace smiled and leaned in as a response, her lips making contact with his as the fear of a non-reciprocal love melted away for both of them. Grace shut her eyes and allowed herself to simply enjoying being this intimate with someone, the feeling of trusting a person with your life, with you secrets, with your heart were all tied up in the feeling of Simon’s lips against her own and the warmth between them grew as they drew each other in deepening the kiss. For just a moment the two were physically as they had always been mentally, together, in sync as they held each other determined to always feel as they did in this moment of intimate connection. They could have stayed like that forever but there were more pressing issues. Gently they pulled away from each other and stood looking over the car and spotting the exit.

“How far to the Apex?” Grace asked. Simon pulled out his tracker.

“Unless there’s another Amelia around only a few cars.” he said. Grace stared at him curiously for a moment before wiping the Apex line off of his face. Gently Simon did the same for her. She took his hand in hers as the pair walked towards the exit. The two had made many mistakes on the road to where they were at that moment, and many mistakes they wished they could take back. As they walked towards the exit hand in hand between the rows of pumpkins determined not to let any of the children they cared for suffer the same fate they had they were for the first time, on the road to correcting some of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me a minute I'm still crying about Hazel


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Grace shifted and turned uncomfortably in her bed. She'd woken up only a few minutes ago and her body refused to let her go back to sleep. Ultimately she kicked the covers off entirely and walked over towards her mirror instinctively reaching for the red lipstick as she'd done countless times before. Realizing this she stopped herself and stared at her reflection in the mirror. It was odd that she'd still reached for the lipstick despite not having applied it to her face in this mirror for four months. She paused that number, it seemed too high. But yes it had been four months since she'd last put the red wave on her face in this mirror. She and Simon had been gone from the Redemptive (formerly known as the Apex) for a month, and it had been three months since they'd returned. Oh how things had changed in that time. A new name had been selected by the children, and a new mission statement. First of all anyone could come and go as they pleased an option which some of the older members chose, though most stayed with them. Secondly their new goal was to help the children get their numbers down by solving puzzles and helping denizens. Finally their help extended to any passenger who wanted it and anyone who had questions about the nature of the train could come to them. The system had worked wonders, the Redemptive was sending kids home everyday. In fact last night they'd sent their last kid home. Grace felt her chest tighten at this, she was definitely happy that all of the children had made their way back home but the train just wouldn't be the same without them. Tired of staring at herself in the mirror Grace resigned herself to struggling to fall back asleep in her own bed before changing her mind, leaving her room and walking over to Simon's instead. Opening the door Grace was greeted by a sleeping Simon who was utterly unaware of her presence. God he was a dork. She loved him so much. Walking over she gently shook him. "Simon, wake up." she whispered. Simon groaned in response and slightly opened his eyes.

"What?" he asked tiredly and through hazy eyes.

"I can't sleep." Grace responded honestly. In response Simon lifted the blanket up and offered for her to come join him. Grace took the offer and climbed into bed next to him. As he always did Simon put his arms around her as they lay there together. Grace was surprised at how quickly she felt herself getting tired though she figured she shouldn't be, after all the reason she couldn't sleep hadn't been merely one of discomfort but rather one of fear. Though she'd never let herself admit it Grace hated how quiet the car was with all of the children gone and being alone in her room allowed her mind to wander towards her deepest fear, that she'd wake up one day to an empty mall car, Simon having left her behind. And moreover that she'd check her number only to find that it had gone up and she'd be on this train by herself for a long time. However with Simon's arms around her, the steady sound of his breathing, the gentle beating of his heart, those thoughts were kept at bay. They were together, they were safe, he wasn't going to leave her. Grace let her eyes close and she drifted off to sleep. Sometime later Simon woke up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he did. Looking over to see Grace still asleep he found himself a little surprised. He'd been only half awake when she'd entered and he'd almost thought it had been a dream. Silently, Simon shifted and made his way out the bed. Grace was still fast asleep and he had no intention of waking her, but someone had to go make breakfast. He looked at her for a moment as she slept. She was so peaceful. God he loved her. He wondered if Grace ever looked at him and thought the same ignoring the way his heart pounded at the thought. He made his way to the makeshift kitchen of the car and looked through what was available. The denizens in the breakfast car had been nice enough to give them some pancake mix last week and they still weren't out so pancakes it was. As he cooked his thoughts wandered to the question of his number. He and Grace had both taken to wearing gloves and neither had checked their number in a long time. After all, no use obsessing over it and risking accidentally bringing their number back up. And yet something in his stomach told him that their numbers were pretty low. Though that may have just been because they'd sent all the Redemptive children back home. Simon heard Grace descend the escalator behind him just as he finished cooking. He handed her a plate and she gave him a peck on the lips in return. As the two sat down with their food Grace looked around the empty car and felt a sense of urgency crop up in her. Something in her told her that her number was low, that they'd be returning home soon. If there were any loose ends left to tie up on the train now was the time to do so. Staring at the pancakes on her plate Grace knew one loose end that she'd never forgive herself if she didn't tie up. "I want to see Hazel." Grace said serious. Simon looked up at her shocked. In all honesty he'd been thinking about Hazel quite a bit recently but going to try and find her was something else.

"Are you sure? What if she doesn't want to see us?" Simon didn't know if he could handle seeing Hazel again for the first time in months only to have her turn them away. Grace nodded in response.

"Simon, we're going to leave this train at some point. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe years from now. Do you want to leave this place and have regrets on what you didn't do?" Simon shook his head, Grace was right, Grace was always right about these sorts of things.

"Okay, let's go see Hazel." he responded. Grace scarfed down the rest of her pancakes, incredibly excited and nervous to go see the person who had invariably changed her life the most in the shortest amount of time. Simon finished his pancakes as well and pulled out his tracker.

"Do you have any idea of where she might be?" Grace asked nervously. After all, Hazel had no number for them to track. Trying to find her without a point of reference would be a shot in the dark.

"A little. Hazel went with Amelia and Amelia works for One-One who stays in the engine. We could just track Amelia but I don't think she takes Hazel with her to go do her jobs so the engine is probably our best bet." Simon explained. Grace nodded in agreement, the two would travel to the engine.

"While we're there maybe we can apologize to One-One for all the stuff we broke on the train." Grace optimistically offered. Simon laughed before shaking his head.

"He doesn't know we exist, remember?" he responded. Grace had completely forgotten that One-One had no knowledge of their actions. She didn't know whether to be thankful that their reign of terror hadn't been significant enough to warrant his attention or a little offended that they weren't worthy of his time.

"How far is the engine?" Grace asked. Simon scrolled on his pad counting the cars in between theirs and the engine.

"It's only about ten cars. Assuming all of the cars are about average size we could probably cover it in two or three days, a week at most if we're really unlucky." Grace nodded and the two began packing for their journey. Unlike the one they'd taken all those months ago this one would not be impromptu so they'd at least be able to prepare themselves. Armed with two backpacks worth of supplies the two took each other's hand and exited the car together walking out onto the bridge towards the engine. As they walked out onto the bridge a conversation was struck up.

"Hey Hazel's almost 7 now. Do you think we should have brought her a birthday present?" Grace asked. Outwardly a joke but inwardly an acknowledgment that they may not be there for Hazel's birthday properly. Simon laughed at Grace's question before responding.

"If she wants it she can have that bag of gorp that you still haven't tossed out for some reason." Simon offered. Grace rolled her eyes as the pair entered the next car. It was a small non-puzzle car. If their luck kept up they might even make it to see Hazel before the days end.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ten cars away in the engine Hazel was starting her day unaware of the two former leaders who were making their trek to her. Hazel was quite happy with her life as things had panned out. Though Amelia had promised her that she wouldn't get attached, small things had shown Amelia's change in attitude towards her, accepting affection, calling her by her name, little gifts, things like that. By the time that they'd returned to the engine, though Amelia would never admit it, she'd developed a real fondness for the girl, even setting up a little room for Hazel to have as her own. This morning, Hazel had been given breakfast by Amelia who had left shortly after to attend to some business or other on the train. This meant Hazel was left to her own devices for the day and when that happened generally Hazel went to go spend time with One-One. As she walked to the engine's control room aka where One-One could always be found Hazel remembered a time where she'd freely said she'd hated him despite never having met him properly. But she'd truly believed it to be true because it had been told to her by Grace and Simon who she'd trusted unequivocally. Though Hazel had been the one to leave them she still found herself missing the two from time to time. They had just been confused and maybe a little scared. They tried their best to keep her safe even if they weren't that great at it sometimes. Grace and Simon loved her and she loved them back. She hoped that they'd left the train and were really happy. As Hazel made her way to One-One Hazel offered the robot a greeting.

"Hi, One-One!" Hazel greeted him. One-One responded in kind.

"Hello Hazel and good morning. What brings you to the control room?" He asked despite the fact that Hazel came here everyday. He couldn't really be blamed though, robots were good at numbers, it was humans were good at pattern recognition.

"Do you have any stories for me?" she asked. This was part of their routine. Hazel would come and visit him after Amelia left for the day. He'd tell her a story about a passenger who's memories he'd processed and then she'd predict what they'd do on the train. It was fun and it was a good way to keep herself occupied considering Amelia had made the "No leaving the engine" rule very clear. Hazel tried to focus as One-One recounted to her the story of some poor wayward soul who'd boarded the train but still she couldn't help but wonder about what her former guardians were up to.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Grace and Simon had made great headway and were blasting through cars quickly. It had only been a few hours and they were already about halfway to the engine. Considering how good their pace had been the two decided it was a fine time to break for lunch. Sitting down in the throw-pillow themed car the two unpacked their food and examined the place they currently inhabited as pillow themed denizens walked around them. As Simon bit into an apple he started.

"This reminds me of chapter 6 in my book when they visit the kingdom of Softsleep and the Sultan tries to hypnotize the leads." Simon said, trying to sound casual.

"Actually that was chapter 8-" Grace replied absentmindedly before realizing her mistake. "I mean uh, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Grace said attempting to cover her tracks but it was too late, she'd fallen right into Simon's trap.

"I knew it! I knew you'd read my book!" he exclaimed happily. Grace felt her face grow hot with embarrassment as she realized she'd been caught. Of course she'd read Simon's dumb book. It had provided quite a bit of ironic entertainment for her and experiencing Simon's reaction to the idea that she hadn't read it had been like a game in and of itself. But like all games, Grace knew when It was time to admit defeat.

"Alright, alright I read your story." she admitted. Simon looked like a little kid on Christmas with how wide his smile was. Grace tried and failed to be annoyed by that fact before settling on poking fun at him. "By the way how have you been writing this story since we were thirteen and you haven't completed book one of the trilogy?" she asked jokingly.

"I'm...working on it." he responded slightly embarrassed. The two continued their comfortable back and forth as their lunch went on. It was strange, before the two had gotten together they'd both feared that the beginning of a relationship would bring far too much change but now here they sat hand in hand, completely in love, and joking like they had since they were children. Subtly the mood shifted and Grace asked a more serious question.

"Say that we leave the train together, do you think we'd end up like, in separate places or do you think we'd stay together?" Grace asked. She deeply hoped it was the latter as the idea of experiencing her return to the real world without Simon by her side wasn't something she was interested in. Simon seemed to think for a moment before giving his answer.

"I think...I think we'll stay together." Simon didn't offer any justification for this thought process and he didn't have to. Just like both could just feel that their numbers had lowered both could just feel that they'd stick together. Grace accepted this answer and put her head on his shoulder for a moment before the two wrapped up lunch and headed for the next car.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hazel had concluded her prediction of what the passenger One-One had described would do on the train and One-One was gearing up to offer her another when Hazel quickly changed the topic.

"Do you know everything on the train?" Hazel asked. One-One responded quickly.

"Well that really depends. I can tell you all about how the train works and who is on it and who has got off it. But I can't do anything like spy on a passenger to see what they're doing. No matter how much I wish I could at times." One-One said wistfully. Hazel ignored most of what he said and honed in on one specific thing.

"You can tell me who got off the train! Can you tell me if Grace and Simon got off yet?" she asked.

"Of course, right away!" One-One combed through his internal database for a moment "Oh you're in luck, only a few people on the train have those names. Now there are 12000 Grace's and 8750 Simon's on the train." One-One projected their faces on the wall. "Just point to the ones that are yours." Hazel stared at the thousands of faces on the wall and did her best to try and find the people she was looking for but with so many people to sift through she could tell she'd be here for a while. Hazel sat down and began looking. After some time had passed Hazel yawned and she quickly realized that it had gotten late. She always yawned right before Amelia came back for the day and took her back to her room. Hazel stood up and stretched frustrated that despite spending her whole day looking at photos she was still no closer to finding out if her former guardians were still on the train.

"I'm done." she told One-One who dropped the projection from the wall.

"Did you find your friends?" he asked. Hazel shook her head in response. "Oh well that's alright I'm sure you'll find them tomorrow." A beep was emitted from One-One's monitor indicating that someone was approaching the engine. That person was almost always Amelia but it was a bit too early for her to be arriving. "I wonder who that could be." One-One said excitedly before the car was entered by none other than Grace and Simon. Hazel's eyes went wide as she ran over to them.

"Grace! Simon! What are you two doing here?" she said happily as she threw her arms around their legs. The two bent down to give Hazel a big hug in return. Hazel pulled away from the hug and was clearly excited to talk to them about every development in her life. "I have so much I want to tell you both! I'm a turtle all the time now!" Hazel said as she spun around showing off her shell. Grace and Simon gave her a smile, happy that Hazel had embraced her true self despite their initial discomfort. "Also I grew an entire inch! Ms Amelia said that it was fascinating!" she explained. "Oh and also I have my own room! Do you want to see?" Hazel asked. Grace and Simon nodded happily both just glad that Hazel seemed safe and well adjusted. Following her passed the control room through Amelia's quarters Hazel opened a door revealing a bedroom. Hazel had a dresser with clothes made specifically for her, some nice toys to play with and a comfortably looking bed of pillows. Grace turned to Simon and whispered,

"Looks like Amelia's rule about not getting attached to her was broken." Simon chuckled at this and they looked back to Hazel.

"This whole room is mine." Hazel said with awe. Clearly Hazel had never had a room to herself before and seeing her utter excitement at having one filled the pair with joy. "So why did you two come see me?" she asked sitting down on the bed of pillows. Simon and Grace sat down next to her.

"We just wanted to see you." Simon said. "We missed you a lot," he added. Hazel smiled in return.

"I miss you a lot too." she responded. "But I still have a lot of fun here." Hazel sat in between them and quietly remembered the feeling of when it had been just the three of them. Hazel was sad for a little bit. She liked her life in the engine but she had been happy with Grace and Simon. It was only then that she remembered why she'd left. "Can I see you numbers?" Hazel asked. Grace and Simon shared a look. Neither of them had even taken a look at their numbers in months. And if they had been wrong about their numbers, If they actually were still really far away from leaving this train revealing that to Hazel would be embarrassing. But they would. Slowly both removed the gloves from their hand and found three things. The first was that both of their numbers had completely gone down to just their hands, which shocked them both. Grace could barely remember a time where her number hadn't spilled onto her arm and yet here it was right before her. The second was that the number was changing. Simon's stomach turned with fear as the glowing green number spun before stopping. The last thing, which was by far the most shocking was that when their numbers stopped they were the same. Emblazoned in their hands in glowing green neon was the number two. They were closer than they could have ever imagined. "Wow!" Hazel said excitedly, "You're really close to going home." Though she'd been excited when she first said it the happiness in Hazel's eyes faded a bit when she realized what it really meant, she wouldn't see them ever again. Noticing this the pair leaned in to give Hazel a hug.

"Hazel, it's okay." Grace said sweetly. Hazel felt her face become wet with tears as she began crying at the idea of losing Grace and Simon.

"I changed my mind, I want to stay with you two." Hazel said, referencing Grace's words to her all of that time ago before she'd left with Amelia. Simon gently patted Hazel's head as he'd done to soothe her countless times. As always it calmed Hazel down.

"Hazel, you made our lives so much better. I wouldn't trade having met you for anything." Simon said to the girl. Hazel wiped her eyes.

"Not even for a million of Ms Amelia's pancakes?" she asked. Grace shook her head.

"Not even for a million of Amelia's pancakes." Grace responded "Do you know why?" Grace asked. Hazel shook her head. Grace told her. "Because you made us better people." It all happened so quickly after that, the changing of the numbers, the appearance of the doors. Hazel's eyes went wide as the two glowing exits appeared before forming into one. It seemed the train knew that they were leaving together. Neither Grace nor Simon felt that they were even worthy of an exit, but it didn't seem to matter to the train. Giving Hazel one last hug the two stood up and headed towards the door.

"I love you." Hazel said to the pair. Turning back to look at her one last time before they left this reality, before they left Hazel forever, there was only one response they would possibly give.

"I love you too." they both said before stepping through the exit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a time skip! Also can you tell that sleeping next to someone is like my "Thing".


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The transition from the train to the real world happened quickly. As he felt his feet touch solid ground the first thing Simon did was make sure Grace was still there. Her hand was still holding his and she was standing next to him, it was okay, they were okay. The first thing Simon noticed about the outside world was wind. He’d forgotten about wind because it appeared in cars so infrequently. In fact weather in general on the train was basically non-existent unless the car was focused on it, so many cars were just room temperature. So the second thing that he noticed was that it was warm. After initial observations about the outside world he just let out a breath. This was it, off the train. It wasn’t something he’d ever anticipated seeing and yet here he was. A part of him wondered if this was just a really big car and the train was simply playing a cruel trick on them. This fear was quashed when Grace tapped his shoulder and spoke to him.

“Simon, look up.” she said eyes watering with awe. He did as she said and was met with stars, a sky full of them. Now his eyes watered too as he spoke back.

“I forgot about stars.” he said to no one in particular. Grace squeezed his hand a little tighter, she’d forgotten about them too. It was like that for a moment, the two simply staring at stars and trying to comprehend that they really were off the train and together. But as the shock from this wore off there were other concerns to be had. Grace looked around the area that they were in. It was dark out so everything was a bit hard to make out.

“Where are we?” she asked walking forward. Looking closer Grace found her answer as she almost stumbled over a gravestone and looked to see rows and rows of them surrounding her. Simon stated the obvious.

“I think we’re in a cemetery.” he offered. Having no way to navigate the darkness the two simply walked along the rows of gravestones attempting not to step on anything until they made their way to the fence surrounding the perimeter of the cemetery. There was a sign on it that Grace took it upon herself to read.

“Cemetery hours: 7:00 am to 6:00 pm, all trespassers will be apprehended-” Grace had gathered all the information she needed from that sign before turning back to Simon. “We need to get out of here.” As if on cue at that moment a flashlight shone on the two of them and an authoritative voice spoke to them.

“Hey, no trespassing!” the person said to them before heading in their direction. Perhaps out of sheer panic, perhaps out of muscle memory, or maybe due to a combination of both Grace grabbed Simon’s hand and the two made a mad dash in the other direction. Running through the rows and jumping over gravestones while Simon internally apologized to the deceased they were trampling they made it to the back of the cemetery only to find a giant fence and a forest behind it. The two shared a look considering scaling the fence and running off into the woods but ultimately they turned around and allowed themselves to be apprehended. The person chasing them looked them over while shining a flashlight at them. “Geez, I swear this place is nothing but a hot bed for dumb teenagers. Well come on, you know the rules.” she said as she ushered the two into the back of a police vehicle. As Grace and Simon sat behind the woman they quietly talked to each other.

“Great, our first day back and we’re already in the back of a cop car.” Simon said jokingly. Grace laughed at this and joked back.

“Hey it’s not my fault someone can’t scale a fence.” she teased. The air was weirdly calm between them for two people who were currently getting arrested. Maybe that’s just what years of living on a magic train does to a person. Grace looked back to the officer. “Hey where are we?” The officer looked back at the two of them. They were both dressed weird and that was a very odd question. She made a note to add a drug test to her of things to do and answered.

“We’re in Catonsville, Maryland.” Grace and Simon looked at each other and realized that they’d never actually shared where they were from. They both gave each other a silent nod indicating that they were both fairly close to their respective childhood homes. Grace felt her stomach twist in knots thinking about just how close her parents were. Was she really ready to see them again? Silently Simon put an arm around her shoulder as a show of support. She would be fine, everything was going to be okay. As they arrived at the station the officer gestured them out of the car and sat them down in the waiting area in front of her desk while she filled out some paperwork. The station was tiny and clearly very old. It was likely that teenagers sneaking into the cemetery was the most that happened around here. After she finished writing something down she looked up at them for a moment. “I’m going to level with you kids, I don’t feel like filling out this paperwork and considering I’ve never seen the two of you around before I’m going to assume this was a one time thing. So I’ll let you off with a warning.” the woman said. The two nodded and got up beginning to leave the station in an attempt to try and figure out what they would do next. However as they reached the door the woman asked them one more question. “By the way what are your names?” she asked. Seeing no reason to lie the two simply offered up their true names.

“Simon Laurent.” he said. The officer looked surprised and turned to Grace.

“Grace Monroe.” The woman looked as though she’d seen a ghost. Shaking herself she quickly backpedaled.

“Yeah, the two of you can’t leave.” she said seriously.

“What? What did we do?” Grace asked

“You’re Grace Monroe. Of the Monroe missing persons case, the most famous missing child case in history. There have been movies, books, and tv miniseries made about your case.” Grace still stared at her dumbfounded. “And you,” she turned to Simon. “Simon Laurent, another missing child case from around the same time.” she shook her head. “I’ll be contacting your guardians.” Simon raised an objection to the two staying there.

“Legally, I don’t think you can keep us here against our will.” Simon said confidently.

“Actually technically the two of you are under arrest, so I really should put the both of you in the holding cell.” The officer mused to herself before doing just that. So there sat Grace and Simon on the cold little slab bench in their holding cell.

“We’ve been back less than thirty minutes and we’re already in jail.” Grace noted humorously.

“I’d be mad if it didn’t feel absolutely appropriate.” Simon responded. From the cell he could see the woman picking up the phone and dialing a number that she’d gotten from a file. This was really happening. He honestly felt exhausted from everything that had happened. Between them spending all day traveling to the engine, seeing Hazel, going home and being arrested everything they’d done had taken all of the energy out of him. Simon yawned and Grace snuggled up next to him as she yawned as well. They deserved a nap even if it was from behind the bars of a holding cell. Holding each other was a comfort they’d enjoyed for years and that wasn’t going to stop just because they’d left the train. As they slept they knew that when they woke they would be forced to face a reality they hadn’t truly processed. Grace was the first to wake of the two, the sound of the door across the station opening being what jostled her awake. She didn’t move for fear of waking Simon but still looked across the room to see who had entered. She let out a silent sigh of relief when she realized that it wasn’t her parents who entered, though it was a man and a woman. One look at them told her they were Simon’s parents. She studied them as they stood at the desk talking to the officer who’d arrested them. The woman was short and thin with light chestnut colored hair that fell seemingly at random across her face. Looking at her eyes she could see where her son had gotten them from, they were the same gorgeous dark color as Simon’s. Her features were mostly pointed, like a doll’s but Grace was drawn to her hands. She wrung them nervously as she talked with the officer and Grace noticed the quiet precision in each of her movements, they were artist hands like Simon’s. Looking at her clothing she wore a white blouse with no design and khakis. Practical, just like he’d described her. She turned her attention to who she assumed was her husband. One look told her that he was definitely Simon’s father. He was tall and sturdily built which made sense for someone with a military background. His hair was the exact same pale blond as Simon’s though far shorter and he had an actual beard in sharp contrast to the stubble Simon had been attempting to grow out for about two years. She could tell he was nervous by the way the corners of his mouth tucked inward the same expression his son made when he was on the verge of spiraling. Two halves both containing pieces of Simon. She wondered if people looked at her parents and could see the same in her. After finishing their conversation with the officer they began walking towards the holding cell. Grace shifted to the other side of the cell and out of their line of sight. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time from behind bars. As they reached the bars it was the woman who was first to speak.

“Simon?” she said. In her voice there was fear and pain. And maybe just a hint of hope. Simon's eyes opened immediately after hearing it. He would have recognized that voice anywhere, even if he’d been gone seventy years rather than seven he would have recognized it. And now he was staring face to face with his parents. Wordlessly he stood and stared at them before choking out the first thing that came to his mind.

“Hi mom and dad.” he said. He didn’t realize until after it had come out of his mouth that he’d been crying or at least that he had been crying that much. The three did the best approximation of a group hug possible with bars in between them and none of them seemed to care all that much that it was difficult. And now they were all crying, him and his mother and father. He’d seen his father cry before, he was the type of person who cried at movies where the dog died. But he’d only ever seen his mother cry before once and it was when he’d told her he hated her. It wasn’t lost on him that both times had been because of him. They clung onto each other so tightly it was as if they were afraid they’d lose him again if they let go and it was a fair thought. As Grace watched such a beautiful emotional reunion she could only grow more nervous of her own parents' arrival knowing that whatever they did would be in sharp contrast to this display of familial love. Finally their hug ended and the complete and utter mental chaos of finding your missing child set in.

“What happened?” his father asked and it was the obvious question. Simon knew that right now probably wasn’t the time to try and explain the whole magical inter-dimensional train thing so he shook his head.

“I’ll tell you about it later.” he choked out. “I’m so sorry.” They looked at him with utter shock and confusion.

“What are you sorry for.” his mother asked him.

“I...I yelled at you and made life difficult for you when you were just trying your best, I was a bad son-” his mother cut him off.

“Don’t ever say that. You were a child Simon, you weren’t a bad son and you don’t have to apologize.” she said. And now they were all crying again and it was okay because it had been seven years and none of them thought this would have ever been possible. Suddenly Simon remembered that Grace was there and figured that this was as good a time as any to introduce her. Turning to her he gestured to his parents.

“Grace, these are my parents. Parents, this is Grace, she's my girlfriend.” Grace looked at them awkwardly, she’d always imagined that meeting your significant other's parents was something done over dinner like that one old movie one of her nannies had shown her. However despite the circumstances being less than ideal she still attempted to make a good first impression.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” she offered nervously. When meeting adults before she left, she’d been expected to give her full name and title, to answer all questions succinctly, and to be seen and not heard. And once she’d gotten on the train her and Simon quickly established the no talking to adults rule so it had been a while since she’d tried to interact with an adult she was trying to impress.

“You’re so pretty.” his mother said and she let out a sigh of relief. Things were calm for a moment. Grace had the mildly sad wish that maybe her parents wouldn’t show up and she could keep pretending to be normal. That maybe this moment of peace wouldn’t be disrupted by a reminder of exactly what she’d been running from. However like most things this couldn’t last. As Simon’s parents went back over to the desk to release him from jail the door opened again and in walked her parents. Or at least Grace thought they were her parents. They looked vaguely enough like the images of her mom and dad she had saved in her mind but in her mind her parents were giants, monoliths of power and strength. The people who had just entered the police station were not that. They looked far too human to have been her parents and far too old. That was the first thing that struck her about them, how they’d aged. Grace of course knew they’d look older but they looked more like they’d aged twenty years rather than seven. She stared at her father first. His face was wrinkled and his hair looked like it hadn’t been cut in while. This was of course in sharp contrast to the father Grace knew growing up who was adamant that every hair was to be in place. He wore a normal looking shirt and pants which gave Grace great pause, she couldn’t remember ever seeing her father outside of his regular expensive suits. He held car keys in his fingers and he gripped them so tightly they’d no doubt leave an indent later. She couldn’t imagine her parents driving at all, much less her parents driving a car that required a manual key. The only car like that they had was an old one belonging to her father and she’d never seen him drive it, nothing was important enough that they couldn’t wait for the driver. Expect this apparently. She turned her attention to her mother or at least the woman she assumed was her mother. The first thing that caught her off guard about her mother was the bright gray stripe in her hair that extended from the roots to the ends of a broad portion of hair on the left side of her head. Grace recalled a conversion years before in which, out of frustration her mom had said something to the effect of,

“Grace you must be quiet. When you speak I become stressed and stress will turn your hair gray and I refuse to allow you to do that to me.” or the like. And yet here she was her formerly long hair cut into a shorter style and a bright patch of gray for the world to see. Grace couldn’t decide if the change was natural or from stress like her mother had warned. Her mother's eyes were different too. They weren’t filled with the contempt Grace remembered them as having when she was young but rather with sadness and with pain. Unlike her father her mother at least was still dressed the way Grace remembered, a fashionable dress that was likely in season. But it was clearly thrown on hastily, it wasn’t ironed. The parents she remembered would have scolded her for going out looking so unkempt. The two finished speaking with the woman and locked eyes with her. Grace felt her blood run cold as they stared at each other from across the room. There wasn’t any anger in their eyes. There was sadness, and maybe just a hint of hope. As they walked toward her Grace braced herself. She readied herself to have every part of her be picked apart by them to find some reason, any reason, why she couldn’t be their daughter. She prepared to be told that she was too thin, or too fat.She prepared to hear that her hair was fair to messy to be their daughter or for them to say that their daughter would never be so reckless as to be arrested. She was ready for them to demand a blood test before they even considered looking her in the eyes. She could have handled any of that. She couldn’t handle them simply walking over and staring at her. They look like they’d seen a ghost and perhaps to them that was what she was. It was highly likely that they’d thought she was dead after all, that they’d moved on and coped with her loss, and maybe even started another family. They were ghosts to her too after all. She’d assumed that she’d never see either of them again. But it was the first thing they’d said that broke whatever resolve she’d had.

“We are, so sorry.” It was her father who had said it but it might as well have come from God himself parting the heavens considering how she reacted. She told herself to refuse their apology, to ask them exactly what they were apologizing for, to tell them every bad thing they’d done and what it had turned her into. She told herself to say that they were the reason she’d left. But when it came down to it, when she heard those words be spoken all Grace could do was cry. She felt like she had when Hazel had left except worse because at least when Hazel had left she’d been crying for someone who deserved her tears. Her mom was the one to reach out to her and offer her comfort first. It was a bit awkward considering Grace couldn’t remember ever receiving physical affection from her parents and yet when she felt her mother offer her the best approximation of a hug she could give based on the circumstances she took it like she’d needed it to survive. She let her parents hold her as she cried and became that same sad scared little girl who got on the trains seven years ago, when her parents had proved to her that they’d never be able to give her the love she needed. As they held her she could hear both of them crying too and she wondered if they’d done it before. If there had been nights where they’d woken up and cried for her. Her mother spoke to her now likely just sharing the thoughts she’d had since Grace had disappeared.

“Grace, we know we should have been better for you, and we’re so sorry that we weren’t.” Grace looked at her parents and waited for this to all be a trick, to look in their eyes and to see that they were just playing this up for the other people in the room and that as soon as they were out of earshot everything would be how she remembered it. But their eyes refused to look anything other than utterly sincere. Grace didn’t care if this was all fake, if the negging she remembered as an integral part of her child would return as soon as her parents felt they could get away with it. Right here, right now, she was getting everything she hadn’t as a child and she only wanted to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible.

“I love you.” Grace said.

“We love you too.” they said back to her. It was the first time Grace could remember them saying it to her and she cried again upon hearing it. This time however Grace wiped her tears rather than indulge in them and gestured to Simon who was doing his best not to intrude on their family moment as his parents finished securing his release.

“This is Simon, he’s my boyfriend.” she said matter of factly. Simon looked a bit awkward but still stood and tried to appear respectful.

“It is very nice to meet you.” he offered. They looked at him for a moment and nodded in response. Grace gave him a look that indicated that was a good thing. His parents walked back over along with the officer who opened the cell and let the two of them out. Unobstructed they both got proper hugs from their parents now and it sunk in that this was real. Maybe a tiny part of both of them still yearned for the train where things were easy and simple. But even through fear, even through loss, even through sadness they had made it. When they’d been on the train there had been so much to worry about, a constant persistent fear that maybe this would be the time that they didn’t make it out okay. As Simon and Grace stood in that police station being held by their parents who they hadn’t seen in so long, at that moment they were more sure then they’d ever been that both of them were going to make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case your wondering about why they're in Maryland, I did a lot of pointless research on things like housing style, tax brackets, and salary, and concluded that Grace lives in Ellicott City Simon lives in Baltimore County and Catonsville is in between the two don't ask how I got this information just trust me.


End file.
